Our two-part finale picks up with Colton finally being found tearing down the streets of Portugal. Chris Harrison is promptly sic’ed onto him, and in this moment we get a tap at that 4th wall where Colton openly admits he doesn’t have his own phone…
Read MoreI’ve long considered Tell All episodes to be my week off here at ATPP, but there’s often too much good fashion to ignore. This post is to keep up with my tradition to do a fashion-only roundup of Women Tell All, complete with your requests and my choices for Best Dressed…
Read MoreWe pick up at the tail of last week’s Rose Ceremony, where Colton has just returned after sending Caelynn home, toasted the ladies to hitting up Portugal next, and then suddenly disappeared for a Chris Harrison pow-wow. I made a .GIF of the conversation had by the women here for two reasons. First, their reactions to the Fantasy Suites feel appropriately disturbed given it is goddamn WEIRD to imagine ALL THREE of them having Fantasy Suites with the same guy and to be standing in a circle discussing it…
Read MoreHometown week first brings us to Fredericksburg, VA, where Caelynn greets us with that classic Bachelor “cadence” you’ve heard me mention before…
Read MoreEpisode 7 brings us to Colton’s hometown of Denver, where he gets advice from fellow Denverite Bachelor (and fellow 26-year old Bachelor!), Ben Higgins. This conversation isn’t particularly illuminating but within seconds it does unfortunately remind of how natural and eloquent a Bachelor can be. Ben looks and sounds like he actually WANTS to be there, something that we rarely get from with Colton (especially not in those dreadful woe-is-me selfie videos production inexplicably thinks we want to see).
Read MoreEpisode 6 picks up with everyone heading into Episode 5’s Rose Ceremony, where it’s obvious to all that Onyeka and Nicole have dug their own graves and will likely be the two sent home. First, Nicole’s tears here support my thoughts from last week that she is crumbling in this environment….
Read MoreWeek 5 brings us to Thailand, where Heather—whose profession, according to producers, is having Never Been Kissed—finally gets her very own 1-on-1 date. A predictable will-they-or-won’t-they-kiss edit, complete with zoom-ins of Colton’s mouth while he chews, ensues. The daytime of this date felt pretty dry and awkward, like there was nothing to talk about…
Read MoreThe episode kicks off with Chris Harrison arriving at the mansion, and right away there’s a lot to unpack. First, Chris manages to mess up one of his very few job requirements…
Read MoreThe selected ladies are taken to a Medieval Times-esque pirate-themed show where they compete for the title of best “pirate”. There was a ton of unsubtle, choppy editing on this date. Pretty much everything we were shown was meant to reinforce the fact that DEMI AND TRACY HATE EACH OTHER, OKAY??
Read MoreThe first Group Date entails the ladies being required to tell a story about a “first” of theirs in front of an audience of 200. During the ladies’ preparations, we see a conversation between Colton and Hannah G that really encompasses scintillating conversation, effortless banter, and jokes landing…
Read MoreMan. With all the live viewing parties, there was a ton of build up to this season. As for the ladies’ intro videos, they were on the standard side. However, there was one .GIF-worthy moment: I had a giggle at how the editing department deemed the ideal spot to place a voiceover of Katie discussing her parents’ relationship was during a close-up of her bootie shake…
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