“This is for America” — Jordan, on Alex potentially sending Chad home on their 2-on-1

We pick up where we left off, with the requisite "pool party". I use quotations because, as Nick B aptly puts it...

... yet the arrival of Jojo suddenly makes it an event. There's an allegory in there somewhere about every Bachelor/ette activity.

Chad confronts Derek, but notice the seating arrangement with Derek and Robby, and then Ali...

As I said in my Flare recap, I LOVED how perfectly Derek stood up for himself while simultaneously shutting Chad down. Derek didn't become defensive, but rather clearly and concisely explained why everyone had a problem with Chad. My favorite line? Believe it or not, it's not "Perception is reality" (although that was pretty great), but rather...

I've mentioned before that as a contestant, possibly the worst part of an asshole housemate is the fact that while you just want to enjoy this unique experience for what it is, you're distracted by feelings of irritation and negativity. (Especially since you're forced to discuss it ad nauseam.) There was something meta about Derek referencing (and being shown referencing) his "experience."

LUKE'S 1-ON-1

I think we all knew Luke would be a frontrunner this season, and his date is pretty par for the course in terms of notorious Bachelor milestones. First is the insta-feelings, perfectly referenced by Luke...

And second is the traditional, not-at-all-awkward concert, where the couple stands on a random mezzanine-level platform and makes out for hundreds of iPhone videos...

GROUP DATE

So many milestones this episode! For what season would be complete without a competitive sport Group Date where the losing team has to go home? As I've mentioned before, this format reeks of production and has nothing to do with the lead. (In fact, I've heard stories of leads begging producers to let both teams stay, to no avail.)

Evan was pretty much on fire during this date. I just love this guy's unabashed emotiveness...

There was a particularly awful (meaning obvious) example of Frankenbiting when Wells said...

Sounds like pretty standard Bachelorette fare, right? Now listen to it:

Notice how it's always brought back to Jojo. Always. No guy could bemoan just losing a football game or be frustrated that he'll miss an evening out of the house. It's always about "desperately" wanting time with the lead.

After the eliminated men return home, they're required to do a Man Chat, and I laughed out loud at the following moment...

I love the enthusiasm with which Chase raises his hand, as well as how long Alex and Luke keep theirs lifted. As much as it likely sucked to live with Chad, the Schadenfreude side of me finds the above hilarious. (Sorry, guys!)

THE 2-ON-1 DATE

As Alex and Chad wait to embark on their cheery date, I enjoyed at the incredibly comfortable-looking L-shape arrangement. (Not all resorts have the U-shape the Bachelor mansion affords.) Does a single guy look like he wants to be seated here? And I'm pretty sure Daniel's chair is either a folding chair or side table...

While greeting two of her twelve remaining suitors, Jojo remains totally realistic and believable about what trials and tribulations one must endure to find a husband...

As much as I tease, Jojo KILLED this date. Was anyone not cheering for her as she took no shit from Chad and held him responsible for his actions in the house? I particularly liked the following moment...

... because her question is perfectly pointed and his response is perfectly vague. And to recap, just what DID Jordan do for Chad to threaten to find him after the show and beat his ass? Let's go back and see...

Wait, THAT'S IT?? It's official. Chad has the shortest fuse on the planet.

BEST & WORST DRESSED

Honestly, nothing stood out to me as either fabulous or terrible this week. (Well, Daniel did wear that awful hooded vest again, but I try not to harp on the same pieces.) No Best or Worst Dressed this week!

JOJO'S LOOKS

First, a few of you asked about looks from Jojo's recent Us Weekly shoot...

There is nothing not to like about the vibrant color and different-yet-adorable silhouette of this dress. Jojo's Alexis dress sells HERE.

Next is her cropped two-piece ensemble...

I'm mostly distracted by Jojo's hair and how badly I want it, but yes, the dress looks great. Nothing groundbreaking but nothing offensive either. Her T by Alexander Wang top sells HERE and the skirt sells HERE. There's an excellent budget-friendly alternative of the two-piece set HERE.

On to the episode! For the "pool party"...

I really dug this crochet top. It was sexy but, best of all, different and cool. I also loved the pairing with white shorts, a risky move that paid off. As for the bikini, I liked it fine. I've never really gotten excited about crochet detail bikinis the way others have, so I'm willing to admit it could just be me and my tastes. Jojo's crochet top is by Show Me Your Mumu and sells HERE. Her bikini is by Guria and sells HERE. Wallet-friendlier alternatives are above.

For the Rose Ceremony...

Okay, wow, I did NOT like this dress. (Bear in mind my judgements are directed at the designer, not Jojo.) To me, it just seems tacky to take a few very obvious, very loud features (hardcore bedazzling, an exposed midriff, and a short hemline) and marrying them. But while I saw it as something Barbie might wear to da club, one of my best girlfriends texted me raving about it, so what do I know? If, like my friend, you disagree with me, Jojo's embellished two-piece dress is by Mac Duggal (no way!) and sells HERE. In my search for alternatives I found a really cool two-piece that is like a marriage between this dress and Amanda's Dress the Population dress from last season HERE.

For the daytime portion of her 1-on-1 with Luke...

Seeing as how my favorite season to dress for is Fall, it's no surprise I like this oufit. It's totally wearable and cozy, and I'm lusting after those perfect brown boots. I liked the bikini in its differentness, and the color was fantastic on her. Jojo's short boots are by Frye and sell HERE. Her Club Monaco cashmere sweater sells HERE and her Zara pants sell HERE. Her faux leather Express jacket sells HERE and her BP Heritage scarf sells HERE. Her Becca macrame bikini sells HERE.

For nighttime, I kept wanting Jojo to take off her leather jacket because I wanted to see more of this dress...

I LOVE this look. It's edgy yet classic and feminine. I also happen to own that exact leather jacket so I may be a bit biased. Jojo's gorgeous Bec & Bridge dress sells HERE and her All Saints leather jacket sells HERE. Her jewelry is by The Woods (her bangle sells HERE) and her strappy Alice & Olivia pumps sell HERE.

For the evening of the Group Date...

I confess that at first glance I found this dress a little corporate. After noticing the braid detailing I've warmed up to it slightly. I think my beef is more with the material and not the design itself. (It looks like the material an Ann Taylor suit would be made of, while if it were made of something less starchy, like a slinky rayon, I might have bought it.) Jojo's dress is by Elizabeth and James and sells HERE. Her Stuart Weitzman sandals sell HERE but there's a much wallet-friendlier pair above. And once again, sadly, all her jewelry is The Woods. :(

My favorite look of the week was Jojo's hiking-in-the-woods ensemble...

Okay, so I'm the first to admit I am a sucker for plaid, but I loved how adorable and functional this looked on her. Could I have gone for a tousled side braid? Um, yes. But that's splitting hairs. This look was a dark horse win. Jojo's Faherty jacket sells HERE, her AG pants sell HERE, and her Dirty Laundry boots sell HERE. Her jewelry is by Robyn Rhodes and the necklace sells HERE and the criss cross ring sells HERE.

Until next week, fellow pandas!