The season's finale kicks off with the usual promise of something we haven't seen before (spoiler alert: we have), delivered by Chris Harrison with his "I swear I care" face (spoiler alert: he doesn't)...
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The famed Fantasy Suite week kicks off in Chiang Mai, Thailand, where Becca greets her date (in this case, Blake) in the only way she seems to know how..
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Hometown week (or rather, the aired episode, since we know by now these Hometown dates are rarely aired in filming order) kicks off in Manteca, CA, where Becca greets Garrett with a uniquely passionate embrace meant for him and him alone (more on this later)...
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Our pre-Hometowns week takes us to the Bahamas, where the men are flown all the way out only to be trapped in a hotel room for most of their stay. Becca kicks off the week with plenty of admiring-the-Bahamas B-rolls, including a quick but distinct Direct-Look-Into-Camera™...
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We kick off in Las Vegas, where Colton gets his 1-on-1 date in a location which, based on the previews showing Colton revealing he's a virgin, I'm pretty darn sure secured him this date...
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We resume with last week's pre-Rose Ceremony 1-on-1 times, where David returns (looking way better than the previews would've had us expect—shocker) and Becca gifts Jordan a fateful pair of gold lamé shorts. My favorite moment among these conversations was when Blake casually revealed he'd be into having 5 kids and Becca responded with an appropriate...
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We kick off with a rainy day at the mansion, with David making omelettes on repeat and Wills casually reading a book...
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The Group Date kicks off with the men changing into tuxedos sponsored by a very easygoing brand that didn't mind having their product completely destroyed on television. We were blatantly shown the mic pack situation and you guys just KNEW I'd have to capture this shot of David for 4th wall breakage posterity...
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As so many premieres before it, this one kicks off with a visit from the Bachelorettes of seasons past. Only the successful (aka happily engaged) ones, though, because God knows if you don't remain with one of 25 or so men a team of producers didn't even cast for you, you're a failure.
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