Episode 7
My laptop was held captive for a repair at the Apple store from Tuesday to Friday, leaving me only the weekend to work on this.
Thanks for your patience with this one!
“I never went in your lane. I wasn’t ever telling [Hannah] how and what she can or can’t do with her body. I just wanted more details. I felt like I needed it. Now for you to look at me and say, “You shouldn’t need that”, now that’s you coming into my lane.”
—Luke
This is going to be SUPER specific and will really expose my video game nerdom, but during this conversation Luke’s retaliation technique for some reason made me think of Fox’s Reflector (or “Shine”) from Super Smash Bros. Don’t think you’re going to make any sort of attack on him and not have it reflected right back at or on you, directly or indirectly. If you get this reference LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS so I don’t feel like a complete and total weirdo.
GARRETT’S 1-ON-1
Episode 7 begins with Garrett’s 1-on-1 date, something I confess I never thought would happen. I fully expected Garrett to end up on a 2-on-1 with Luke. However, seeing as how the naked bungee jump thing was guaranteed to ruffle Luke’s predictable feathers, it’s safe to say this was a (correctly) calculated call on production’s part.
What really stood out here was how Hannah’s producers somehow failed to mention the naked part. I’ve been pointing out all season that part of Hannah’s charm is how she constantly reveals knowing less than we’d expect her, as the lead, to know. Just watch her face fall when realizing that couple isn’t wearing clothes…
Like, really?? They forgot to mention that part? It makes you wonder just HOW in the dark leads are. And maybe this is just my personality because I don’t love surprises and generally like to prepare myself mentally for things (in all arenas in life), but would she not be annoyed about this? I’d almost argue it’s worse to have told her they’d be bungee jumping but not the naked part, than to have just not told her any part of the day’s activity. It feels like they wanted her as unprepared mentally as possible. It also seems like they knew she’d have misgivings about it and would maybe change her mind along the way, something they couldn’t afford given how important it was for Luke to unravel the way he would. Anyway, just food for thought. I’ve obviously spent more time wondering about this than any person should.
Back at their Riga hotel, it becomes clear from the Group Date card that Peter will be the 1-on-1 recipient. I had to capture how sweet the guys’ reactions were to this…
It’s also proof (as if we needed any) that Peter is clearly a nice, well-liked guy.
GROUP DATE
The following morning the guys ask Garrett about his date and he, conveying how well he knows this show, reveals he knew (or at least had a hunch) his phobia would be exploited…
Remember, there’s a question specifically about fears and phobias in the “Fun Quiz” during casting weekend, so Garrett knew The Powers That Be had this intel. But what’s especially funny is that nowhere on his date card were fears or facing fears mentioned; it simply read, “Can I trust our love?”. This means that Garrett just (wisely) assumed that, as a contestant on The Bachelorette, it was more likely than not that his fear would be used against him.
During her pre-Group Date B-roll there was an amusing moment when Hannah referred to her Group Date as “normal”. She then, practically in the same breath, catches herself and pulls a Hannah, breaking the fourth wall in pointing out how there’s nothing normal about her situation…
In the evening, it’s unfortunately more of the Luke Show. This guy just cannot stop manipulating and being manipulated. As I touched on above, Garrett wasn’t only cherry picked for the bungee jump date because of his phobia, but because he’s the guy with whom Luke would have had the hardest time imagining Hannah in a naked embrace. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if the naked thing was incorporated specifically to trigger Luke. He is one hell of a reliable puppet.
I had to capture the following exchange because it ties back to my ongoing Luke Eyebrow Watch. There’s such a direct correlation between what he’s saying and his eyebrows that they’ve become a bonafide Bullshit-O-Meter…
I may be starting to sound like a broken record but I really do find Luke to be a textbook narcissist and, given my general fascination with narcissism (I’ve mentioned before that I’m subscribed to the topic on Quora), I am in awe watching him. He ticks off every trait so consistently, you can almost watch his scenes with a checklist. Above, he plays victim. Note that he COULD have just gone straight to judging and shaming Hannah, which he would eventually get to, but he first makes a quick detour to Victimsville.
He promptly judges and shames Hannah for bungee jumping—gasp!—naked. This is the same guy who “took advantage” of his looks back before his shower with God. (I always find it funny how “finding God” resets all pre-God transgressions. Must be sweet.) And because Luke sucks in ways I didn’t even think possible, he qualifies that judgment and shame by approaching them from the Christian angle, something to which he knows Hannah is particularly sensitive. Now, I’m not sure Luke meant to manipulate her this way—I actually don’t think he realizes half of what he does is manipulative. Just the opposite: I think the guy is in a perpetual state of scrambling and grasping at straws. (It frankly sounds very stressful.) He is NOT a man with a plan; that’s why the stories are constantly morphing and the lies are layered on top of each other like Wite-Out. (We’re officially at the point where the Wite-Out is too thick and bumpy to even properly write on anymore.) I talked about this over at Flare so I’ll resist repeating myself, but I personally think in this scenario Luke felt base level jealousy, grasped at those straws for a way to justify that jealousy as something other than jealousy, and then (and very likely with his producer’s suggestion), circled back with the “her body is a temple” argument. After all, jealousy is not retaliative; he can’t punish Hannah by being jealous. But he can punish her by shaming her. Sounds like great life partner potential, doesn’t he?
Next up on the narcissist checklist: passive aggression (suggesting—but not outright saying—what she did was “bone-headed”, out of character, wrong) and self-aggrandizement in painting himself the White Knight who’ll stand by her despite said bone-headedness…
The above reminds me of the very first night, when, in the wake of the Scott drama, instead of truly supporting Hannah, Luke took the opportunity to make himself look good. This is no different. Hannah had already said the bungee jump was her decision and she stood by it, that it was not a sexual thing with Garrett but rather about having a unique experience. Yet instead of actually responding to what she’d said—to the very explanation he claimed to be asking of her—he shifts gears completely, making it about how supportive and understanding he is. This man is EXHAUSTING.
Perhaps the craziest part of all is that Luke THINKS HE DID GOOD. He thinks the conversation went well, that by judging and shaming Hannah but telling her about it, he’s sharing the very feelings she’s been asking of him. Just look at his expectant, self-satisfied smile as she reaches for the Group Date rose…
At first I thought the above was too good to be true, that his smile was taken from a different moment. But NOPE.
PETER’S 1-ON-1
This was a cute date filled with cute moments. Nothing huge stood out to me here other than their excellent chemistry and the fact that Peter actually tried for specificity when describing what he loves about Hannah…
Two things: First, this is clearly in response to a classic ITM question, “What do you love about Hannah?” Second, sure, it’s not like this is the most unique or groundbreaking list of things to like about a person. But a LOT of people on this show would just skip to the “I love everything about her” part, so I’m giving credit where credit is due. YAY SPECIFICITY.
JED’S VISIT
Uggghhhh there’s so much to discuss in this episode, it’s overwhelming me a bit. I know I have to talk about Jed and the fact that he’s always playing guitar and piano and serenading Hannah. This is tricky because we know editing plays a role in all this, and we could very well be being shown the only musical moments in an ocean of non-musical moments and conversation. So, to me, given how much we saw of Jed’s music in this episode, it would seem the show is actually playing up how much Jed is performing. (After all, they easily could have shown him serenading Hannah in the street and NOT shown his entire song on her bed. It felt conspicuous to me that we were shown both.) Based on this episode, it feels like The Powers That Be WANT us to notice it.
Next, if music and your instruments are as big a part of your life as they clearly are to Jed, it’s possible that’s just a form of communication for you. What I mean is, it’s very possible Jed can express things through his music that he would have a harder time doing in conversation. If he’s got his guitar there, no distractions in the form of the internet, TV, or books, and nothing but time on his hands… well, it stands to reason that maybe he would be writing music like crazy about his feelings and emotions and would then want to share that music with Hannah since it pertains to her. It’s not so different from when contestants read poems, letters, or journal entries to their lead.
I understand Jed’s performing a lot for a guy who confessed to have originally gone on the show with exposure in mind, and in that sense I wish he’d resist the tiniest bit. But I guess what I’m saying is, the two can be mutually exclusive. Just because he’s picking up his guitar all the time does not mean he’s doing it for the cameras. (I will say, though, that much of my own practicing while filming was done when the cameras were NOT around… so it can be done.)
But most importantly, Hannah is VERY into it. He’s getting major positive reinforcement every time he does it. So yeah, I don’t think he should be vilified for doing on this show what he clearly does every day in real life, and especially when the object of his affections (and his sole audience member) is encouraging and rewarding it.
Speaking of positive reinforcement, I had to capture the following moment when Hannah makes out with Jed post-song. Note the shadows (and subsequent nearness) of the cameraperson as he/she circles the bed…
Just imagine making out in your bed with a crew of people in the room, brightly lighting and filming your every move, circling you to get better angles. You guys know I can never resist pointing out how weird things on this show are. :)
CHAT WITH LUKE
Hannah fetches Luke to sit him down and let him know their Group Date conversation hadn’t sat well with her. I mentioned this over on The Morning After, but I love how well executed this was. She took the necessary time she needed to process what he’d said and how it had made her feel. She separately sat him down with SPECIFIC examples of things he’d said that had bothered her. She wasn’t aggressive but not a pushover either. Her words, actions, and timing here were as perfect as you could hope for for a productive conversation.
As I noted two weeks ago, Luke starts off any confrontation with a faux concession, or meeting in the middle in some way. In this case, it’s admitting he started the conversation terribly…
But note that he’s not admitting to ANY of the things Hannah confronted him about. She didn’t give a shit about how he started the conversation, she gave a shit about the ACTUAL CONVERSATION. Luke, of course, proceeds to layer on the Wite-Out. Instead of taking responsibility and even standing by his own words, it’s HER fault: she misunderstood him! How awful for him to be misunderstood!
I laughed out loud when Luke claimed their relationship had actually been in a good place and Hannah shut him down in EPIC fashion…
Another thing to note here is, as with the “zip-it” gesture last week, the level of familiarity. It feels like Hannah knows Luke so much more intimately than any of the other guys. And it’s probably because he repeatedly gets extra 1-on-1 time while the other guys keep missing out on Cocktail Parties.
Before I get into the Man Chat, note the formation just before Hannah arrives to get Luke…
And then the formation while he’s gone…
First, Dustin’s body language cracks me up. He’s chilling SO HARD. Second, it’s obvious this was one very long Man Chat. The guys were assembled first so that their reactions could be captured to Hannah getting Luke. But then, while Luke was away, disbanding wasn’t permitted. The guys were made to discuss Luke and Hannah and speculate on what they were talking about. And it would appear this went on for the entire Hannah/Luke conversation, because when Luke returns, the guys are in the same spot and he sits in that empty spot between Jed and Mike. (see the .GIF below) Considering how long the conversation with Luke and Hannah probably was, just imagine about how long that Man Chat was. Once again, the guys’ irritation with Luke may be simmering, but it’s the fact that they can’t do or talk about anything else that makes things boil over. There’s no relief, no escape, no way to let out the steam. Remember when I said last week that the guys are far more affected than Hannah is by Luke sticking around for even one extra week? Yeah.
As Luke gets more and more angry, he gets up to leave. Two things here: Note that to Mike, the guy with whom he’s had quite a bit of friction, he says, “Keep doing you.” It makes me wonder if either he and Mike patched things up (and it was of course never shown), or if he’s just generally a bit intimidated by Mike (the latter seems more likely). The second thing is how Tyler (who is speaking up more and more and I’m LOVING IT) says, “You’re trying to be a big dog again”…
The language here makes me feel like Luke had been behaving slightly better, or was making some sort of an effort to improve. Or that things had at least quieted down for a day or two.
Chris Harrison arrives to announce that Hannah is “emotional” and is therefore cancelling the Cocktail Party. This has been happening so much that I’d honestly be amazed if she wasn’t being encouraged to cancel them, it’s such a guaranteed pot stir in the house. I had to capture the guys’ reactions to this because they made me laugh out loud…
It’s also, as always, hilarious to watch Chris Harrison’s expert-level straight face when delivering news like this to that audience. I mean… the man earns that paycheck.
Finally, to continue on the humor track, a moment that was easy to miss but had me laughing SO HARD and keeps me laughing every time I watch it. After Chris Harrison leaves, Luke begins to deflect blame. But before he can even get the words out, Mike cuts him off with…
He didn’t even come close to completing his sentence but he’s so predictable that they all knew what he was about to say. The above is such a short clip but says so much.
As always, my initial takeaways and frontrunner round-up can be found over at Flare.
THE FASHION
Requests
From the Life Of Pets 2 premiere…
I was indifferent to this look. We didn’t see enough of it for me to really get a feel for it but I didn’t mind what I saw. I know some people thought the necklace was too much but it’s actually my favorite part of the look; it toughened up all the cotton candy pink. Hannah’s jumpsuit from the Randi Rahm Spring Evolution 2019 collection (HERE), and there’s a look-for-less option HERE. Her earrings are Dilamani but I couldn’t find them online. Her necklace is by The Woods and I couldn’t find it available online, but there’s an excellent alternative (and look-for-less) selling HERE.
I really liked this look. It’s functional for a day of walking around Riga but looks very polished and sophisticated. (It makes me want to start pairing pale pink with cream!) My favorite part? Her half-up hair, which feels casual yet ladylike. Helmut Lang cream wool coat sells (on sale) HERE. In my search for a look-for-less I found THIS option that I love and am eyeing. Her Theory Novelty Stripe cashmere pullover sweater sells HERE. Her Club Monaco Adele cashmere scarf is sadly sold out, HERE. Her booties are the same as the ones she wore for her Chris Harrison chat last week—they’re the Rag & Bone Razor booties and they selll HERE.
The coat is the star for me here. That COLOR. I seriously want it! The dress is nice enough but doesn’t stand out to me. I think what bugs me is it doesn’t read as expensive-looking, despite being kind of expensive. (It looks like something you might find on Missguided or Boohoo, where the whole point is cheap clothes that look expensive, not the other way around.) I would have preferred a tousled low-do with this neckline but still don’t mind her polished side part. Hannah’s Mackage Leora belted wool coat (in Lilac) sells (on sale!) HERE and HERE. There’s a great look-for-less selling HERE, as well as a lighter trench option, HERE. Her Michelle Mason one shoulder asymmetric twisted gown sells (also on sale) HERE. Her black opal and diamond earrings are by Dilamani (info HERE)—the closest look-for-less options I could find sell HERE and HERE.
Several of you requested this coat and I can see why. It manages to look sort tailored despite being a puffer, the least tailored thing on the planet. Hannah’s Laundry by Shelli Segal puffer coat (worn sans the faux fur, evidently) sells (on sale!) HERE. Her Naturalizer Varuna 2 waterproof lace-up boots sell HERE.
This was my favorite look of the week. The relaxed, cozy vibes of a pink cashmere sweater paired with the pop of leopard print on her feet—very chic yet effortless. I also loved her casual, imperfect french braid. Hannah’s Club Monaco Emma ribbed cashmere funnel neck sweater is sold out but there’s still one available in Cream HERE. There are similar ones selling HERE and HERE. Her Gianvito Rossi leopard print booties sell (on sale) HERE and there’s a look-for-less selling HERE. I was unable to ID her rectangular earrings but there are similar options selling HERE and HERE. Her rings are by Brooklyn Designs and they sell HERE, HERE, and HERE.
I love a WOW factor Rose Ceremony look and this was it. Great color and amazing silhouette—it flirts with being Disney Princess-ish but manages not to go too far. Overall, especially with the hair, this feels very Bachelorette-worthy and I was all about it. Hannah’s gown is from the Randi Rahm Fall 2017 collection (HERE) and there’s a look-for-less selling HERE and HERE. I don’t normally link out sketchy-seeming listings like these but the reviews speak for themselves!
Best Dressed
This week’s Best Dressed is Dylan with his Rose Ceremony suit…
This is a pretty bold call but it really works on him. It’s tailored perfectly for him, and the color is red without being, well, RED. Note how he balances the strength of the color with few accessories: no tie (a GREAT call) and a hardly-there pocket square. The best part? The suit with his overcoat on top, where it ties in his black shoes. I really, really like this look. And I especially admire it given the difficulty I know it takes to pull it off! BRAVO, DYLAN.
Worst Dressed
As much as I like Tyler, this offense could not go unpunished…
I mean…. those pants are just ridiculous. Dylan has the right length. Second best is Connor; those are on the short side but they still work because of the more relaxed vibe of his suit. (Note how it’s a bit looser and worn over a white tee.) But Tyler’s look legitimately like pedal pushers, especially given how tight they are. A case could MAYBE be made for those if he was dressed down (à la Connor), but he’s not. Sorry, Tyler!
Until next week, fellow pandas!
