Episode 3
This one was a DOOZY. Whoa. I was not expecting to turn Episode 3 into a finale-level recap, but I had so much I wanted to say, it just kept growing and growing until it became a monster. As you’ll probably find as you read this, this episode really ground my gears. Let’s recap…
VICTORIA P’S 1-ON-1
If Bachelor episodes had morals, like those sitcoms with a lesson at the end of each episode, it’s obvious what Episode 3’s would be: To ASSUME makes an ass out of you and me. It makes me sad how little benefit of the doubt seems to be given across the board, with the two major battles of what little season we’ve had so far clearly stemming from a woman (the accuser) not actually knowing the other (the accusee) very well…
It’s kind of crazy how you could copy and paste these words coming out of Sydney and Alayah’s mouths later on and they would make just as much sense.
We’re reaching the point in the season—or rather, the point in the drama—where I start to really feel for the women. Hannah Ann and Kelsey finally sit down to hash out Champagne-gate, but these drawn-out sagas affect no one worse than the other women in the house. Being an innocent and uninvolved bystander does not exempt you from the responsibility to talk about other ladies’ drama in Girl Chats. (Going over my journal for this week’s Flare recap, I saw I had a whole paragraph dedicated to how much I hated this.) So while you’d rather just have natural conversation with your friends, the topic will inevitably get steered back by a producer. Notice how Victoria F’s frustration reflects this…
What stands out to me about the above is the expectation versus reality. The women likely (and reasonably) went into this expecting to be told to talk about Peter 24/7, but instead they’re talking about something that happened 3 days ago and that they had no involvement in.
And now I’ll wrap Champagne-gate, hopefully once and for all, with a celebratory .GIF that serves no purpose other than to capture “finasco” in all its glory for my Bachelor Recap archives…
During all of the above, Victoria P is having a particularly Bachelor-ific date, complete with cowboy boots, line-dancing at a country concert, and dinner in an airplane hangar (we’ve had a LOT of these over the years but this is the first time it actually makes sense). Over dinner Victoria P opens up about her difficult past. The following line stood out to me…
I have to admit that, up to this point, Victoria P’s general narrative of never having had a loving boyfriend has been something I struggled with. It’s just tough for me to buy that this woman (with her Hollywood actress looks and, as we learned this week, pageant title of Miss Louisiana 2019) has somehow struggled with men. It felt like too much of a Bachelor trope, that the gorgeous blonde with a sad backstory also just so happens to have never been loved. The skeptic in me wasn’t buying it. Therefore, as difficult as it probably was to share in this unnatural and filmed setting, it was helpful on our end to hear Victoria P to identify why she thinks her past has affected her dating present. I do believe some people tend to seek what they think will bring them happiness, only to reliably sabotage things, and often due to a deep-rooted feeling of being unlovable and unworthy (some Ben Higgins vibes there). So while this was a tough conversation, it was necessary for Victoria P to share this particular tidbit, how she thinks her upbringing affects her love life. Without it, I wasn’t really buying the too-perfect Bachelor contestant portrait. This was a puzzle piece I felt I was missing before this date, but consider me sold after having gotten it.
Back at the mansion, we start getting the memo that, lo and behold, Alayah is the one we’re supposed to dislike…
I always find scenes like this hilarious in their unsubtlety. Cue the minor-key, evil villain track, the lack of context, the hidden camera suggesting she’s FINALLY being caught unawares. Like—HINT HINT, NUDGE NUDGE—Alayah is the BAD GUY, okay??
In terms of actual content, I didn’t find this remotely offensive. It’s also not super surprising: It’s been this young woman’s identity to be squeaky clean and doll-like and perfect for the last 8 years, and she’s a whopping 24 now. It’s been a big part of her life, but OF COURSE there’s more to Alayah (and news flash, EVERY pageant girl) than meets the eye, and OF COURSE she can turn it on and off as she needs and wants to. That’s not even pageant-specific—many people do this. More on this later.
To me, it seems like the above context is sexual (she uses the word “innocent” enough throughout the episode for me to suspect this), which I couldn’t care less about. Trust me when I say my housemates and I talked about sex during my season (another news flash, almost everyone does), except we waited until we were in our rooms, after the mics and cameras had gone. All I see in the above clip is a young woman who has had a few drinks and has gotten a bit sloppy while talking to a friend. (I have my doubts that the actual friend she was talking to was Kiarra but that’s neither here nor there.) No more, no less.
GROUP DATE, AKA “DEMI’S EXTREME PILLOW FIGHT CLUB”
Peter’s poor ladies were on the wrong season at the wrong time. Here I was, applauding the show for allowing every woman a career to her name (versus the joke careers), thinking it represented some step forward for feminism in Bachelor Nation. But no, it may be 2020 but it was still somehow deemed appropriate to put the women in lingerie and make them "pillow fight” each other. (Can I use “pillow fight” as a verb? Yeah, I’m doing that.) This date activity is so bad it sounds like a joke, like some Onion spoof or SNL Bachelor parody.
Not to be outdone by “finasco”, Kiarra gives Hannah Ann a run for her money with…
I had a good laugh over the fact that Peter asked if the women actually slept in these outfits and Alayah gave him the flak he deserved…
I loved when Kelley reminded us what an APPROPRIATE reaction to a lingerie-clad Group Date activity looks like…
What I particularly like about Kelley is that, although she’s clearly the season’s “normal” one, the woman who has a life and career and her general shit together, she’s still a good sport. You don’t get the sense she thinks she’s TOO GOOD to partake, only that she’s the right amount of self-conscious and embarrassed to partake. :)
I almost didn’t bother making a .GIF of this because I know my Pretty Pandas readers all noticed this inconsistent, out-of-order editing. But for the sake of thoroughness, here is Alayah’s magical self-retying ponytail…
Also, HOW SHOCKING that these two would be pitted against each other.
In the evening, the torch is officially passed from Champagne-gate over to Alayah-is-”fake”-gate as Sydney uses her 1-on-1 time with Peter to vent about another woman in the house. Remember, this is only the second week of filming—a Bachelor week is typically 4-5 days, making it about a week and a half max of filming. It’s the second Group date Sydney’s been on, making it the third or fourth bit of 1-on-1 time between her and Peter (each of which tends to be somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes). She hasn’t had a 1-on-1 date. Trust me when I say Sydney and Peter are still VERY MUCH in the getting-to-know-you phase. Are they really close enough for her to be “warning” him about other women, in WEEK TWO? The show hasn’t even left Los Angeles yet!
Last season was the first time I felt there was developing a habit of contestants running and tattling to their Bachelor (Colton) over every little interpersonal tiff. Sadly, it would appear that trend has bled over into this season. It’s par for the course that all the ladies aren’t going to get along (I mentioned over at Flare how perfectly primed they are to be irritated by every little thing), but by mentioning their grievances (or even hinting at them, à la Sydney) to Peter, it becomes blown out of proportion, both in terms of his reaction and overall screen time.
At least with Colton’s women, the Onyeka-vs-Nicole tattling didn’t begin until Thailand, in Episode 5. The tone was less to do with anyone “warning” Colton and had everything to do with the women rubbing each other wrong and tensions being higher. Tayshia was the season’s “warner”, when she warned Colton about Cassie and Caelynn. But that was nearing Hometowns, they had all had 1-on-1 dates at that point, and she had lived with both women for far longer, long enough to have at least a semi-educated opinion on them as people. (Oh, remember how much good that “warning” did? That is a prime example of why no one should EVER “warn” the lead about anyone. Nothing was going to stop Colton from picking Cassie.) I didn’t even condone that tattle sesh, but it at least had FAR better legs than Sydney’s.
Back to the Group Date: because Peter is even less calm in the face of rumors and drama than Colton was, he does the WORST THING EVER by putting Sydney on the spot IN FRONT OF THE OTHER WOMEN and asking her to name names. WOW, this was terrible. In what world is this an OK thing to do?! He’s betraying Sydney’s trust by revealing what she revealed to him, AND he’s outing her as the girl who talks shit about others to him. SHE is the one that has to go back and live with these women, not him! I found this an insanely callous, short-sighted, and incredibly SELFISH thing to do. It prioritizes his wants and needs over others’, especially Sydney’s, but also for ALL the women; it needlessly hurts Alayah’s feelings (when he could have just done his own damn research!) AND makes every woman there sit around WAY longer—IN THE COLD. Hell, it was cold enough for Peter to COMMENT on it and even accept a blanket…
Just imagine sitting out there in a cocktail dress for SEVERAL hours, waiting for the Bachelor to have his 1-on-1 time with every woman there. Peter just went through this last season; it’s not like he wasn’t aware of this in the back of his mind. Ooooh it grinds my gears so bad just thinking about this, about how selfish this was of him. Could he really not sleep that night if he didn’t know BY NAME the woman Sydney was talking about? Does he trust his own instinct so little?
If I were Sydney, I would be unbelievably turned off by this. He couldn’t even pull her aside to ask? I would blame this on producers but countless Bachelors and Bachelorettes of seasons past have pulled contestants aside to ask them to name names. Production is no excuse in this situation. This was one of the shittiest things I’ve ever seen a lead do.
I’m getting worked up so to cool down, I’ll close this “date” with a moment that made me laugh out loud, and that’s Peter’s reaction when Alayah begins to cry…
The face of a man who’s in WAY over his head.
THE FIRST POOL PARTY ANY EPISODE 3 HAS EVER SEEN
Wow, this looked like a mega fun pool party. The women got to sit around the same space they sit around all day, every day while their gallant boyfriend ran around trying to get to the bottom of trash talk. (If you can’t tell, I feel really bad for Peter’s cast of women.) Peter would end up not chatting with 8 WOMEN, and is it just me or did he not even GET IN THE POOL? We didn’t even get the usual shots of a game of chicken! The pool party of a lifetime.
First things first. Peter pulls Sydney aside and (RIGHTFULLY) apologizes for putting her on the spot during the Group Date. She’s shockingly forgiving (likely thanks to the potent combination of a Group Date Rose + the ever-looming power inequality) and proceeds to tell Peter to not only listen to her, but to trust his gut….
Peter, being the self-assured, confident, gut-instinct-following man he is, proceeds to poll every woman he talks to about Alayah and her authenticity. This is where I felt we got a glimpse into which woman is most likely rooming with whom. Kelsey, Natasha, and Lexi were the three uninvolved women willing to throw Alayah under the bus. We know Alayah is friends with Hannah Ann, who is not friends with Kelsey. We saw Sydney venting to Natasha last week when the Group Date was cancelled. We haven’t seen much from Lexi but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s in the same friend group. And trust me when I say that in these early stages, a HUGE factor in what friend group you’re in has to do with what room you’re in. You do the majority of your venting after hours, when the cameras are gone and producers aren’t around. That’s when the lights are out and you’re in your bunks. Trust me when I say that’s when the early season bonding happens.
The big thing to happen during this “pool party”: Victoria P tells Peter that Alayah had told her not to tell producers that they already knew each other. (That sentence makes me dizzy.) And this is where things start heating up.
Just to be crystal clear, we know Alayah was Miss Texas 2019 and Victoria P was Miss Louisiana 2019. So right off the bat, things are fishy. Even if they’re not close, it’s a given they would know each other at least peripherally. So I found this odd to say the least. I’ll circle back to that.
Peter, being the man who can marinate with information for awhile and is conscious of not making his women sit around even more than they already have, proceeds to pull Alayah aside for their second chat. (PS, the first chat—the one where he trusted his gut and just chatted with her—went great.)
There’s a VERY telling audio detail here, and it was sneaky as hell. Watch Peter approach the women…
Give that moment a listen…
Now, remember when Lexi told Peter that when a camera’s around, Alayah’s voice will go up “5 octaves”? We see the following clip for “reference”…
First, notice how a camera is around from beginning to end in the above clip. Just for accuracy’s sake, I want to point out that Alayah’s voice going up has nothing to do with a camera. She is simply chatting with the bartender about spicy margaritas and then greeting a friend who touches her elbow. If anything, the clip makes me appreciate that Alayah is kind and friendly with the bartender, but suffice to say it’s a benign clip. What’s more important is that you listen to it:
As you can tell, the “Hiii!” is the exact same clip, taken from the above moment and inserted where Peter joins the women two .GIFs back. This is our first clue that production is out to screw over Alayah big time. It’s subtle, but they’re clearly encouraging the narrative that Alayah’s voice DOES transform depending on Peter and the cameras, that she IS fake, she IS annoying, she IS manipulative, she is all the things Sydney claimed she was.
This is where things get interesting. Peter asks Alayah point blank about what Victoria P told him. Note Alayah’s reaction and her immediate answer…
Depending on how you watch the above, Alayah’s expression could reflect either confusion or being “caught”. But based on what she says and what’s to come, I am 100% sure it is confusion. She doesn’t UNDERSTAND what Peter means because she knows Victoria, she knows that it would be known that she knows Victoria, and she’s simply trying to piece together what the accusation even is.
She goes on the explain what she was trying to cover up…
Now things are getting VERY interesting. I spoke in my Flare recap about the lengths producers go to to make sure you don’t meet each other beforehand. Obviously, if you’re going to cast two women from the same year of Miss USA, that can’t be avoided. But if those two women don’t KNOW the other is doing it, it’s safer. Giving the producers the on-screen “shock value” of Alayah and Victoria P realizing they’re both there has a lot of value, after all. Alayah didn’t want to jeopardize her or Victoria P’s chances of getting cast, so she tried to maintain that bit of mystery to appeal to production, to increase the women’s value as potential contestants: the facade that they might be shocked to see each other there.
Peter misses this disparity entirely, focusing on the fact that there was a facade after all rather than a) how it’s different than the accusation, and b) how incredibly minor it is. Notice how, despite Alayah’s above explanation, he resumes talking as though he hasn’t heard a thing and the crime is one and the same. Also note Alayah’s immediate correction…
To me it is obvious Alayah is telling the truth. Why do I believe her? Because her attempted lie actually makes sense. It makes SENSE to feign ignorance, to pretend not to know what one of 49 other beauty queens is doing. Is she totally, 100% innocent? No. But if she really wanted to lie she’d say Victoria P was wrong and that she’d never tried anything fishy. She not only admits to her crime, but does so without hesitation and with consistency and specificity. Yes, she tried to pull one over on producers (a major no-no). But there is a HUGE difference between pretending you don’t know someone entirely and behaving like you have no history, versus pretending you didn’t know they’d be there. One is a big, long-term act, the other is just a moment’s reaction. The difference is subtle but distinct, and in my opinion the former is WAY worse than the other.
It would seem Alayah’s blunder wasn’t in trying to pretend she didn’t know Victoria P was doing the show, but in attempting to outsmart production. Producers do NOT look upon this lightly, as evidenced by how aggressively they’re painting Alayah the villain. Let’s be clear: the mistake is in getting caught. No doubt have countless contestants pulled a Jed and come on with a boyfriend/girlfriend in the background. But get caught and you WILL be punished on national television.
I cannot stress enough how disappointed I was in how Peter handled things in this episode. It bugged me that he couldn’t take Sydney’s words about nameless “fake” women for the vent sesh that it was. I HATED that he put Sydney on the spot and asked her to name names IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I loathed how he insinuated a woman being “fake” could somehow be Jed-esque; this wasn’t about Alayah pretending to be single when she wasn’t. (In fact, Alayah’s attempted lie didn’t even have anything to do with her connection to Peter at all, so what does it matter?) Note how very different Peter’s actions have been than Hannah’s “stay in your lane” motto: Peter is encouraging his women to do just the opposite, which speaks volumes about his ability to read the women, or at least his confidence in his ability to read them. Hannah’s “stay in your lane” thing had to do with Luke P, the very person Hannah ended up figuring out ON HER OWN. (She was right to tell her men to mind their business.) Meanwhile, the real liar, the person she could have used a warning about, was quietly living amongst his friends, the other guys in the house. In short, where were Peter’s words of “warning” about Jed?
Oh, I’m not done: I loathed when Peter told Alayah, “It’s not just one or two girls that have brought stuff up. It’s been multiple people who have brought stuff up.” There is a HUGE difference between people bringing something up on their own and having been expressly asked for an opinion about someone. I couldn’t stand how he sat Alayah down for a second time to accuse her about Victoria P’s claim yet didn’t actually listen to her defense. Above all, I disliked how righteous he became throughout all this. He said, “I want people that want to be here and for one reason.” It’s only Episode 3, so again, around 1.5 weeks of filming. Is he claiming he went on Hannah’s season solely to meet Hannah, with no slight curiosity about what the experience of this show would entail? That by Episode 3 he was there 100% SOLELY to become engaged to Hannah? Give me a break. OF COURSE ALL OF THE WOMEN HERE ARE NOT ONLY THERE FOR HIM. They would be insane to feel that way this early. All they require to not be there for the “Wrong Reasons” is to be legitimately single and to maintain an open mind.
Finally, I want to talk about Alayah’s “fake”-ness. I’m writing this at a restaurant that turns into a co-working space during weekdays. It’s nearing the end of the work day and I can hear the restaurant staff populating the space, preparing for the evening ahead. I can hear the hostess chatting with her co-workers, venting about her boyfriend. Then, I hear her calling customers on the phone to confirm their reservations. When she does the latter, she goes into a different mode, her voice goes up an octave, and it’s still her but… different. It’s less relaxed, less real, more “on”.
Does that make her fake?
We all have different versions of ourselves we put out there for different circumstances. I’m not going to talk to someone I’ve just met with the same level of familiarity I use with someone I know well. I won’t speak to the conductor of an opera I’m in with the same casualness and tone I use for my girlfriends. Do these varying degrees make me “fake”, that I’m not the same person across the board?
Someone being performative doesn’t mean they’re consciously trying to manipulate. Everyone puts on a bit of a mask when they’re meeting new people, when they’re in work mode, when they’re in new or high-pressure situations. Alayah’s biggest crime is having a pageant-y personality, something that may grate some on people if it’s something they’re not used to. But a pageant-y personality does NOT mean that person is fake, two-faced, manipulative, or a bitch.
That’s it for Episode 3! Let me know your observations in the comments below.
As always, my frontrunners based on this episode can be found over at Flare.
THE FASHION
Requests
Kelley’s L’Academie “Pearl” dress sells (super on sale!) HERE. Her Madison McKinley “Smith” necklace sells HERE. She purchased her ring from Lasker Jewelers (Rochester, MN), so I found some good looks-for-less instead: HERE and HERE.
Sydney’s Boohoo earrings sell (super on sale!) HERE.
Victoria F’s For Love And Lemons “Gelato” bikini is sadly sold out (HERE).
Lexi’s BCBGeneration fuzzy mini dress sells (super on sale!) HERE.
I love it when ladies on this show break the bikini mold and wear a one-piece, especially one as cute as this. It feels fabulously old school, especially in that 80s blue, but updated and made interesting with the side band detail. She looked chic, comfortable, and like she wasn’t trying too hard. Hannah Ann’s Bikini Lab “Route 66” swimsuit sells HERE.
I have a tie for first runner-up! First is Tammy with her Group Date look…
We didn’t see much of this but whenever Tammy was onscreen I found myself looking at her outfit and trying to get more details. I LOVE that this turned out to be a romper and not just a blazer dress. I love the dichotomy of the business-y, masculine feel with how it’s blush pink and undeniably sexy. It balances skin with covered-up-ness (I talk about this a lot) and really stands out in a sea of glittery and jewel-toned dresses. Best off all: Tammy’s big, bouncy ponytail. (How tragic would it have been had her hair been down?!) Excellent styling all around. Tammy’s Missguided Peace + Love tuxedo playsuit is sadly no longer available. This piece is really specific so it was tough to find anything quite like it. The best alternatives I could find sell HERE and HERE.
My other first runner-up is Alexa with her Rose Ceremony look…
This was another one of those looks that I was straining to see more of. This looked SO GOOD on camera and on Alexa, I was annoyed she was in the back row and we couldn’t see it from top to bottom. I’ve liked Alexa’s personal style from the beginning but this was a knock out of the park. I personally LOVE ribbed knits, so the fact that it’s metallic and a two-piece dress set really lands in my sweet spot—it’s unique (I’ve never seen a combo of these features) and despite the bared midriff, it still feels refined. The model photo doesn’t do it justice—it looks bland and almost matte, but on Alexa, it was shimmery and gorgeous. I think it says something that this was my first Bachelor fashion-inspired purchase of the season. Alexa’s ASOS metallic set sells (super on sale!) HERE (top) and HERE (bottom).
Runner-up for Best Dressed is Alayah with her Group Date look…
I really like how Alayah considers the temperature dropping when she assembles a look. She’s rarely (if ever?) the girl wrapped in a blanket at the end of the evening because she forgot a jacket. (Fun fact: jackets and coats were a hot commodity during filming because few of us properly planned for how cold it could get at night and how long you’re just sitting outside in the cold doing nothing.) The dress is lovely and the jacket’s great, but the combo is what really elevates things. She looks like the poster child for a Zoe Report “How To Transition Florals Into Fall” article. Beyond the season-blurring, I just dig the mix of hyper feminine (florals + gown silhouette) with the toughness of a moto jacket. Alayah’s Keepsake “Infinity” dress is sadly sold out (HERE) but there are decent dupes (and looks-for-less) HERE, HERE, and HERE. Her Express faux-leather moto jacket is sadly sold out (HERE) but if there’s a M selling HERE and I found great dupes HERE and HERE.
This week’s Best Dressed is… drumroll…
Alayah is slaying the fashion game this season. She’s been at the top (or near the top) for 3 weeks in a row now. I think all of you knew this jumpsuit would steal my heart and land on this list. It’s slick and feels powerful. It’s undeniably sexy and has a good balance of skin vs covered-up-ness. (The pants really make it a win—if it were a gown it’d nice but not a “wow”.) Her side-swept hair really works, too. Alayah’s jumpsuit is by Bebe but is around 4 years old. I found ONE selling online (HERE - if you’re a size 6 it’s your lucky day!) The best dupes I could find are HERE (black) and HERE (white).
Worst Dressed
Despite there being a few lackluster dresses this, this week’s Worst Dressed is the one that stuck out to me…
You’ve heard me like a broken record: if you’re going to do sequins, go simple and sleek on every other front. To be honest, though, I don’t know if there’s much Kelsey could have done to salvage this dress. Even a slick ponytail, while certainly an improvement, would only do so much. The dress itself is just not my taste AT ALL. The ombré pattern done in sequins is a huge no for me, especially from silver to cobalt blue like this. (Like, even from an ombré perspective it doesn’t work—where the hell is the gradation? It looks more like a sequin mock-up of silver paint dripping onto a blue background.) The only way I can imagine this working is if it were grey/black, or something insanely neutral, but even that’s a stretch. On the whole, as is the case with 95% of my Worst Dressed culprits, I’m turned off by how over the top and not elegant-feeling this dress is. It looks distinctly like it was bought off a clearance rack. In case you were wondering, my big rule of thumb with sale shopping—which accounts for like 90% of my shopping because I’m a sale hound—is to ask myself, “But does this LOOK like it was bought on sale?”
If you disagree with me and love Kelsey’s dress, you can find it HERE. Interestingly, it’s by Alice & Olivia, a very mainstream and popular brand but whose stuff I like only half the time. 🤷🏻♀️
Until next week, fellow pandas!
