It’s that time of a Bachelor season again… that time when I give the disclaimer that rehearsals for a new opera have begun, making my day job more demanding than usual. This is a particularly rigorous rehearsal schedule for me (I am on stage pretty much the entire time, which is rare for me), meaning I may not have the time I usually do to dedicate to these.

As always, thank you for your patience and understanding!

OFF TO… CLEVELAND?

Chris Harrison arrives to give the women the traditional pre-travel pep talk and speak on Peter’s behalf about “seeing his wife in that room”, and that the room of 15 women should feel the same way, a sentiment that never stops being weird to me…

Can I just say… Chris Harrison says this EVERY SEASON. It’s delivered just like this, almost verbatim, season after season. I feel like Peter has about as much to do with this message as he does the penmanship and puns of every date card.

Chris Harrison informs the women that they’ll be finding love in—surprise!—Cleveland, OH. The women can’t even feign excitement about this which sets up the leitmotif of this episode, which is that—GUESS WHAT—Cleveland is actually amazing, gorgeous, and THE PERFECT PLACE TO FALL IN LOVE.

VICTORIA F’S 1-ON-1

In their hotel digs, Victoria F receives the first 1-on-1 Date Card and proceeds to fret about a heights-related activity. There’s a great 4th wall-breaking moment when Madison asks Victoria F if she put her fear of heights as one of her “biggest fears”…

Madison is of course referencing the (enormous) questionnaire you fill out during Casting Weekend, where you answer questions covering everything from what you’re looking for in a partner to your favorite book to how long it takes you to get ready in the morning. I love it when these little moments are shown, where the women are shown recognizing that—DUH—if Victoria F put heights as her greatest fear, it’s to be expected that her date would involve them. This moment is a fabulously meta one AND it does the ladies’ intelligence (or at least Madison’s intelligence) justice.

Victoria F’s date revolves almost entirely around the fact that she (supposedly) dated Chase Rice. I say “supposedly” because I found this entire subplot unconvincing. Victoria F claimed she broke it off because of Chase Rice’s lifestyle, one that I imagine involves traveling, singing for millions of fans, and generally being famous. I find it unlikely that anyone who comes on this show in this day and age isn’t remotely interested in some degree of celebrity, just since it’s a given that Instagram “fame” will be bestowed upon anyone with airtime. (And we know crying a lot = airtime… more on that below.) I don’t know much about Chase Rice (I am NOT a Country music person) but the fact that I’ve even heard of him means he must be a fairly big deal. You see what I’m getting at.

Anyway, Victoria F spends a good portion of this date freaking out, first about the possibility of heights (despite having put her fear of them in her questionnaire), then over the high-flying rides themselves, then over the fact that Chase Rice oh-so conveniently happens to be playing for hers of all dates. (On that note, the producers really worked overtime on this season, didn’t they?)

Victoria F’s freak-out about Chase Rice involves somehow equating her having dated this singer with leading to Peter being “sad”…

Now, in Victoria F’s defense, this clip is Frankenbitten to death:

Not only is Victoria F’s “sad” copied and pasted twice in that single sentence, I’m fairly certain “I don’t want him to be” is also repeated. Based on this, it’s safe to say Victoria F’s edit isn’t doing her any favors or downplaying her distress. But the fact remains that Victoria F was upset about revealing to Peter that she “dated” some singer in her past, despite that fact that PETER IS DATING EVERY GIRL ON THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW.

I swear, I tried to understand Victoria’s angst over this. I guess you could argue she regretted not casually saying, “Oh, FYI, I dated that guy” right at the start, à la Karen on The Office (I stole this from THIS Reddit thread as it was too perfectly accurate not to share)…

I get that the concert was surely far longer than it appeared on TV, and with each passing minute, I’m sure Victoria F wished she’d just said something at the start. I can certainly relate to seeking the perfect time to reveal something, only to find it becomes less and less attainable the longer you wait. Combine that with the desire to be an easy, fun date for the lead (because of that ever-present power imbalance), and what would normally be a simple (and IMO funny) anecdote becomes a THING warranting a Serious Conversation. So in that sense, I have a heart for Victoria F that producers threw her this unprecedented curveball. However, I still felt Victoria F’s panic over this was disproportionate. It was simply not leave-the-dinner-table-in-tears-worthy.

Look, had this been Victoria F’s first freak-out of the season, I do think I’d be more inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume the situation was more difficult and awkward than it appeared on TV. But Victoria F’s MO so far has been to be in a perpetual state of freaking out. She was freaking out on Night One over feeling invisible, then on her first date (the Revolve Group Date) over the fashion show, then again during her time with Peter in the evening of that Group Date, and now again on her 1-on-1 date. (I listed the breakdown of her 1-on-1 date freak-outs above.) Most people who are this uncomfortable in this situation but who don’t want attention would have left by now. (A perfect example is Elyse, the QUEEN of Colton’s season.) This leads me to believe Victoria F… well, she probably likes the attention. (I hesitated to write this at the risk of sounding harsh, but there is sufficient evidence at this point.) She’s drawing it to herself by melting down this much. I just feel like she’s a bit TOO comfortable being uncomfortable on camera.

GROUP DATE

The biggest Group Date is football-themed, naturally ending in a game to compete for evening time with Peter. The game ends in a tie, resulting in 13 grumpy women. Despite having had more time with Peter than anyone else that day, Victoria P steals him first. In response, Peter tells her something that stood out to me…

This has been something that has always bugged me, how the lead correlates aggression for 1-on-1 time with that contestant’s interest in him. Peter is not alone in this; many leads have enjoyed (and rewarded) contestants who are aggressive in “stealing” them (the main one to come to mind is Andi and Nick on her season). What gets me about this is how the lead was just on the contestants’ side; they know how much it sucks to not get time because someone else was selfish (taking time when it wasn’t as pressing/urgent) or simply more aggressive than they were. They know how producer-encouraged and choreographed “stealing” it is. If anything, in my humble opinion, repeatedly taking time when you’re not desperate shows more of a lack of courtesy for others than it does a stronger interest in the lead. (That could just be my Canadian-ness showing but that’s how it comes off to me.) At any rate, we know from Peter having given Sydney the Group Date rose last week that he evidently prefers the women to prioritize him over each other.

As if having read my mind, Shiann says shortly thereafter…

I relate to this statement SO HARD. I do sometimes feel like the contestant experience falls into one of two categories:
1) You’re a natural frontrunner because the lead is particularly interested in you. You don’t need to work as hard as others to get time because producers have their eye out for you and make sure you get your share without your needing to be a dick. Madison falls squarely into this category.
2) You are not one of the lead’s favorites, meaning you can’t rely on time being carved out especially for you. Or, you can be manipulated into “needing” to steal time, even if you’re doing just fine. (Victoria P)

Alayah returns and shit starts hitting the fan. She tells Peter pretty much exactly what I said last week (very validating, I must say): that she and Victoria P know each other better than Victoria P led on, certainly more than 3 hours’ worth. Not only that, but they’re relatively friendly, enough to have gone on a trip to Vegas together.

Peter, a modern day Sherlock, races back to Victoria P to fact-check her original story about having spent a “collective 3 hours” with Alayah, and what he gets is a pretty remarkable amount of nonsense…

Before I dive into this, I want to stress that I do like Victoria P. It’s worth noting that she seems well-liked among the majority of the women, she doesn’t seem to (purposely) seek out drama, and I do think she’s legitimately into Peter. That said, there are obvious issues with the above. First, I have a particular gripe with people using “their truth” as a defense for lies or questionable actions or… well, anything, really. “Someone’s truth” isn’t a thing. There is THE truth (FACT), and there is NOT the truth (FICTION). For example, Victoria P might not like Alayah as much as Alayah likes her. Or they’re frenemies. Or they’re peripheral friends who have a superficial (or fake) relationship. It could be any of the above, and that could easily be The Truth. But it is a different thing entirely to say she and Alayah have spent X number of hours together when that number is Y. I’m not saying Victoria P should know exactly how many hours she’s ever spent with Alayah, but it’s safe to say if she’s done Miss USA with her and gone on a trip with her, even if there were several friends involved, 3 collective hours isn’t believable. The text message thing is another issue—I’ve spent more than 3 hours with people and not gotten their number or graduated to “texting” level friendship.

But “her truth” aside, the most convincing argument that Victoria P isn’t being as truthful as she claims is in how she deflects. She doesn’t really answer Peter’s (very clear) question about whether or not she is friends with Alayah and has spent more time with her than she initially claimed. She makes it about how generally “honest” she has been with him, how “vulnerable” she’s been, how hard it all is, how she’s given Peter her heart. If your side of the story is the accurate one, you don’t need to go into woe-is-me territory. You only need to provide facts. Interestingly, given all the talk of Alayah’s “manipulation”, I found Victoria P’s deflection in this scene to be the most manipulative behavior of the season thus far, using her (more established) relationship with Peter to distract from and fudge what should be simple, cold, hard facts.

Peter, who canNOT let it go, decides what he needs is to have a hella awkward sit-down with both women…

This looked edited to death—note how Victoria P references something she’s already said (we weren’t shown it) and how Peter’s hand begins on her shoulder but is gone by the next shot of her. Nonetheless, the gist of this scene is that Victoria P sidesteps Alayah’s claims and once again makes it about her perspective, her reality. This was maddening to me. Just think about it: Can you imagine if you spent a reasonable amount of time with someone, traveled with and conversed with them in person and via text, only to have them claim to barely know you because they “didn’t take an opportunity to fully get to know you”? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. THIS IS NOT A THING.

I reeeeeally wish Victoria P had handled this differently. It’d be more acceptable (and believable) had she simply been upfront and told Peter something like, “I understated how well I know Alayah because, while I do know her better than I let on, I don’t like/trust her and therefore didn’t want to be associated with her.” But the real clincher for me was in the following moment. Not only does she reference “her truth” for a second time (ugh!), but she defends her actions with something that has nothing to do with this discussion: the fact that other women also spoke up about Alayah…

To be clear: the other women’s claims about Alayah were that she’s fake and was playing things up for the camera. Victoria P’s original claim was that Alayah had told her to lie about their knowing each other, and that that was somehow manipulative. THOSE ARE NOT THE SAME CLAIM. As we discussed last week, someone being performative doesn’t mean they’re fake, but further, someone who seems fake doesn’t mean they’re manipulative. These traits and behaviors are all mutually exclusive. Victoria P can’t just bring the other women’s issues with Alayah into the picture to support her claim about Alayah when hers was a different claim entirely. This was her grasping at straws, and it further deflects from the actual issue: the fact that VICTORIA P was the one who lied. (A bit rich considering her original claim that Alayah was the liar.) At least Alayah instantly owned up to her attempted lie (about pretending she didn’t know Victoria P would be there) when confronted about it. Victoria P not only doesn’t do that, but she holds her (baseless) ground by making it about “her truth”. This shit freaks me out. It’s very fake news-y, like someone rewriting history to fit their convenience so they don’t have to admit fault or take responsibility.

I would be remiss not to address the moment Victoria P touched Alayah’s face, presumably to rub away some eye makeup…

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This gesture in and of itself suggested familiarity and a certain kinship. Paired with the words coming out of Victoria P’s mouth, it supported Savannah’s earlier claim that Victoria P was not as honest as she seemed. (Savannah had said Victoria P talked shit behind Alayah’s back but was later holding her hand at the Rose Ceremony).

I always try to take all sides and perspectives into account and you guys, my readers, are often really helpful with that. Reader Joy wrote me a fantastic email in Victoria P’s defense this week and I just had to share:

“As a child of an addict, I see so many of Victoria P's actions through that lens. There are huge bodies of research on typical behavioral patterns or emotional struggles that children of addicts face (born from years of trying to please the addict), including struggling to tell the truth, being prone to telling others what you believe they want to hear, overreacting when things seem out of their control, viewing life as a victim, struggling with abandonment... the list goes on and on. This is obviously not to excuse Victoria P's behaviors, and I hope we get a genuine answer from her in the coming weeks as to why she said "collective 3 hours" instead of, "we competed in Miss USA together and were on the same Vegas trip". However, I truly feel for her as somebody who has to work very hard to keep the "child of an addict" feelings from overwhelming me.”

My readers are THE. BEST. I am fortunate enough to not be able to speak to the above experience, so thanks to Joy for sharing this! The above did make me more understanding of Victoria P’s behavior and made me see her as less of a deceptive villain and more as someone whose tendencies were likely capitalized on by some heavy-handed producing. Great food for thought.

Victoria P leaves and Peter is left to gaze at Alayah longingly, to regret having sent her home and ask her to come back. I’ll give Peter credit—I do appreciate that he owned up to the fact that he got influenced, that he was frustrated with himself, that he regretted his actions. He didn’t blame the other women for sharing opinions that led to his actions, but admitted he let their opinions lead to his actions. (THIS is taking responsibility.) That said, the actual way in which Peter asked Alayah back on the show wasn’t my favorite thing ever…

I swear I didn’t want to harp on Peter any more than I already have but the tone of the above irked me. He sent HER home, based mostly on what they’d just established was a lie. I wish this had been done with more of an apologetic and less casual tone. It should have been “I’m sorry, I would love for you to come back and see where this could go”, not “Wanna come back?” Notably, while he did say there was something there that he’d like to pursue, at no point did he apologize to Alayah.

Alayah comes back and Peter promptly gives her the Group Date rose. The logic here was pretty lost on me, to the point where I strongly suspect producers put the pressure on Peter to give it to her, knowing it would spark anger among the women who were actually on the date. I can picture a producer making the (weak) argument that the rose represented the one she didn’t receive at the Rose Ceremony. (Of course, mathematically, this makes no sense; they docked a rose from the Rose Ceremony in order to send her home—there was no reason why that rose couldn’t magically reappear.) From a practical standpoint, too, Alayah simply wouldn’t NEED a rose to rejoin the house. It was just such an odd call with a guaranteed feather-ruffling success rate, I am convinced Peter was convinced to do it.

After the rose, Peter leaves and Alayah catches up with her friends, Mykenna and Hannah Ann. I captured this as a .GIF because this was the moment that would soon cause a lot of issues…

Note the casual tone here. There are no Mr. Burns “Excellent” vibes. Alayah’s being caught up on what has happened since she left and is simply stating what she knows based on what she’s read online (most definitely on Reality Steve, who seriously doesn’t get the journalistic credit he deserves). To me it is clear there is no malice here—she is simply stating what she read has happened IN THE HOUSE. Remember, it is assumed that every woman would know more or less whatever Reality Steve could report—they are the ones THERE, after all. There is no way she could have known the Chase Rice thing was something Victoria F was mysteriously private about or had issues with being public; it was far, FAR more likely that it would have been common knowledge, just from Victoria F having shared what happened on her date. On that note, I am AMAZED Victoria F didn’t share it, even if only to say, “Guys, guess what fucked up thing the producers did to me during my date!”

KELSEY’S 1-ON-1

Kelsey’s date marks what has to be the biggest come-from-behind in Bachelor history. This is the woman who was at the center of Champagne-gate, the most overblown (and obviously producer-choreographed) drama of the season, and here she is with BY FAR the most reasonable take on the Alayah situation…

THIS. 🙌🏼 I’ve expressed variations on this in my recaps for years now. One should WANT the lead to fully flesh out every relationship with every woman there, making your “win” (if you do “win”) a fully informed one, not a remotely default one.

This was a fantastic date. We finally got to know a contestant on a deeper level and in a way that didn’t feel made-for-TV. When Kelsey shared her story about her father leaving, it felt like she was legitimately sharing it in the interest of her relationship with Peter. It was to explain why she might have a hard exterior—NOT solely because it was the “right” time in her Bachelor timeline for a personal reveal milestone. She was matter-of-fact without being cold, yet vulnerable without seeming too emotional or like she was playing the designed “sob story” contestant. It’s kind of incredible how quickly Kelsey went from being the contestant you roll your eyes at to the one you genuinely root for. This date made me REALLY like Kelsey, the come-from-behind champion.

ROSE CEREMONY COCKTAIL PARTY

Whew, we’re almost at the end! Heading into the Rose Ceremony, Peter is all smiles, reflecting on his great week with the women, never mind that he didn’t actually spend any of it with most of them. The women have some choice words for Peter (props to Deandra for calling out the Group Date rose situation a “slap in the face”).

What I found interesting was Peter’s conversation with a very angry Victoria P. I found this FASCINATING, how Victoria P went from the woman who was caught red-handed in a blatant lie, to being the angry, victimized woman whose personal “truth” wasn’t believed.

To me, this stood out as MAJORLY producer-influenced. I can only imagine the hours she spent in an ITM room, upset about not being trusted (despite having had been asked her opinion), instead of understanding (or at least owning up to) the REASON why she’s not being trusted. Trust me, her producer would only sympathize with her, support her frustration with Peter for not trusting her, fuel her anger and motivation to give Peter a piece of her mind. In other words, Victoria P’s producer wouldn’t be that girlfriend who says, “But, um… you did go to Vegas with that girl.”

Victoria P deserves big time credit, however, for calling Peter out on the following…

Peter has this annoying tendency of reframing having asked for an opinion as having been offered an opinion. He’s done this before, when he told Alayah last week that women had “brought stuff up” about her. I cannot stress enough what a big difference there is between the two—WAY more stock should be put in a complaint someone makes on their own, without being prompted, versus when they were asked specifically about something or someone.

Finally, the episode closes with heated discussions amongst the women. Something Natasha said stood out to me…

Having been there, I feel entitled to an opinion on this matter. Of course I cannot speak for every woman on every season, but in my case, during filming, we were DYING for outside world information. (Pertaining to OUR experience. I’m not talking about real world issues; that’s a whole separate conversation.) At one airport a few of us actually snuck off to an electronics boutique to get our paws on a computer with internet access. We made it two clicks into Reality Steve’s site before getting caught. We wanted to know how much of what we were doing Reality Steve knew, how up to date he was, if he’d gotten things right or wrong, which ones of us he’d revealed as being on the show, and whether or not that information was accurate. (Self-indulgent, sure, but there is nothing not self-indulgent about going on The Bachelor.) Heading into filming, Steve had already spoiled 5 women from our season. He would reveal most of the rest of us by the time I left filming. In other words, there was action happening online, ABOUT US, while we were off the grid. If we got the opportunity, there’d be plenty to take in. This was an opportunity Alayah got.

I’ll put it this way: If Alayah was better liked overall and if she wasn’t additionally villainized for having been given the Group Date rose, and if Victoria F had shared the Chase Rice thing (as would be expected), the women would WANT to know whatever minor details Alayah knew. Alayah's intel would be about what was public and online, not what that information itself was—they ARE the information. Look, it’s not like Alayah brought back some horrible virus with her. She had simply learned and shared information she understood to be common knowledge. (I also have my doubts that she “spread” it around the house like wildfire; telling Mykenna and Hannah Ann would be plenty.) Sure, she could have been more delicate in revealing it, but her lack of delicacy only proves how unaware she was that it wasn't common knowledge.

Finally, Alayah was crucified for being “manipulative” for telling people about Chase Rice, which makes no sense. (If it had been on purpose, that would make her a gossip, not manipulative.) Last week she was also deemed manipulative for being “fake”, which also makes no sense. The word is getting thrown around so casually I’m starting to wonder if people remember what it means.

If you can’t tell, I continue to be #TeamAlayah. Yes, it’s clear she has her share of haters, and I’m always sensitive to there being fire where there’s smoke. (Obviously she’s doing—or has done—SOMETHING wrong.) But note how disproportionately we’re shown those haters versus her defenders. One of the few times we saw anything in her defense was from Savannah, who rightly pointed out the BASIS on which Alayah was sent home…

My sister Andrea, who you may remember is a reality TV producer herself, said the following about this saga:

“I’m tired with how the show frames everything. We are never left to come to our own conclusion. It’s always very clear who the “villain” is based on music and who gets ITM bites. It’s insulting to my intelligence. Why couldn’t they show a bit of both sides? Actually give Alayah’s friend who was defending her an ITM or let Alayah explain herself a bit more. There is always a clear narrative and they will shoehorn anything in.”

I couldn’t agree more. There is such a clear imbalance and it’s unnecessary. Let us decide for ourselves if Alayah is the villain by JUST SHOWING US WHAT HAPPENS.

Finally, take a moment and look at Alayah’s face in the last two .GIFs. Can you even imagine what it would’ve been like to be in that room while people spoke about her as though she wasn’t there? (I realize it’s possible she wasn’t actually in the room but given the footage we’ve seen, it’s not far fetched to take the above at face value.) I’m a sensitive person and if people were talking about me like that, I’d be a bawling mess. I found it a bit upsetting watching these scenes, at how comfortable some of these women are with being so openly hateful towards someone who hasn’t actually been that bad (she doesn’t have the narcissistic tendencies Luke P had, for example). Watching Victoria F confront Alayah so aggressively and hatefully (and maybe drunkenly?) was particularly disturbing. (Victoria F DID know the Chase Rice thing would end up on national television a few months later, right?) Were any of Alayah’s so-called crimes really worthy of this level of hostility? It appears to come down to “mob mentality”, how people bond through a mutual hatred and they all end up fueling each other, very likely making each other think they despise that person more than any of them actually do. It’s sadly as though banding together to hate on one person maintains a certain harmony within the house. Had Alayah not come back this week, trust me, there would be a new person to hate.

As always, my initial takeaways and Top 4 frontrunners can be found over at Flare.

THE FASHION

Requests

Victoria F’s P448 leopard sneakers sell HERE and HERE.

Hannah Ann’s h:ours bodysuit sells (super on sale!) HERE. Her Superdown leather jacket sells HERE.

Kelley’s Zara faux leather jacket is sadly sold out (HERE). In my search for an alternative I found a faux suede option (HERE) real leather option that is gorgeous and very on sale (HERE). Her GRLFRND jeans sell HERE (there’s a great look-for-less HERE). Her silver Golden Goose sneakers sell HERE. Finding a look-for-less alternative for Golden Goose sneakers isn’t easy—the best I could find sells HERE.

This was the most-requested look of the week! Victroria F’s Flynn Skye “That’s A Wrap” top is sadly sold out in Victoria’s polka dot print, but it’s still available (and on sale!) in a striped print (HERE), solid white (HERE), and red floral (HERE). Her BDG “Girlfriend” jeans sell HERE. Her Superga sneakers sell (on sale!) HERE, and they also come in several colors HERE.