Episode 7
Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their thoughts in the comments last week! Even if I don’t always make it in there to respond, as I didn’t last week (it’s been another busy one over here—I think it says something that I’m doing my last proofread during off-moments in our sitzprobes and tech rehearsals!), please know that I do read every single comment.
So, to address the whole “outside information” discussion, I would only feel confident doing this moving forward if the response were unanimously in favor of it, which it wasn’t. I know how annoying it is to read an article about the show or browse a contestant’s Instagram page only to stumble upon spoilers. I have never wanted my recaps to be a place for that, so I’ll continue as I have been, though I will make exceptions depending on the information and the discussion it brings about. If it spoils the season, even in a roundabout way, I’m probably not going to address it. Sydney’s rumored fib about having not attended her high school prom is a good example (hence why I did share it!). Anyone who would want to learn more about that could easily do so, but it doesn’t spoil the season either way. It was instead about discussing the possible trend of contestants leveraging “sob stories” to make it further or to get a sympathetic edit. There are so many outlets for outside info and rumors, so as many of you suggested in the comments, I’ll use my judgment and only include whatever speaks to me or contributes to an interesting discussion.
One more thing: I want to especially thank those of you who went out of your way to suggest ways for me to monetize these recaps in order for me to stick with them. I cannot tell you how kind I find this, to have readers VOLUNTEER information that could result in them paying for these one day. (I hadn’t heard of Patreon until you guys suggested it.) I was so touched by this. Personally, I am not totally comfortable charging even a few bucks a month for these, just since I know they’ll never be my top priority work-wise and not everyone is in a position to spend their hard-earned money on something relatively frivolous. So, on that note, encouraged by your kind words, I plan on finally looking into partnering with a sponsor in the future. I haven’t begun shopping around yet but wanted you to be the first to know. I feel I owe it to you, my readers, since YOU are the reason I’m even a position to have something to “pitch”, and your comments are what motivated me to finally look into this. I’m sure some people will consider this “selling out”, but I think I’ve proven by writing these for 5.5 years (yikes!) without any ads or sponsors that that is not the case. With a sponsor, I could justify continuing to spend so many hours creating these recaps, and you could rely on them being better prioritized in my life and not always being on the verge of vanishing (which, honestly, they currently are). I take brand partnerships super seriously and I would make it my utmost priority to find a fit with a brand or company that I believe in or use, and which feels right. I could very well be getting ahead of myself—these recaps, given their seasonal nature and the fact that the content is rather niche, might be a bit of a weird sell—and it’s very possible no companies will bite. But either way, I want you to know that’s my hope moving forward as I think it would be the best happy-medium for all of us. As always, I welcome your thoughts and suggestions.
Thank you all for chiming in on this! Now let’s recap…
LIMA
Episode 7 brings us to Lima, Peru, where it rapidly becomes clear that Peter’s big fear in this process is ending up choosing a woman who doesn’t requite his affections. While Skyping his mom, he says, “At the end, going all in and committing and investing all this, and at the end maybe that person feels for me but they don’t feel the same way… That’s the obvious fear.” In an ITM, he said, “Just because I’m falling does mean they’re on the same page and that’s scary for me.” We’re basically beat over the head with this fear of Peter’s, and I’m sure his producers did nothing along the way to lessen that fear.
I definitely can see this being a reasonable fear as the lead, especially nowadays where there are so many (too many) real-life perks to contestants getting cast and sticking around on this show. Peter, having lived in a house with Jed last season, is probably more acutely aware of this than anyone. So, I do understand where he’s coming from; his fear is an absolutely valid one.
Unfortunately for Peter, that fear—paired with his position of power—can’t really be used to secure guarantees. The theme of this episode is a whole lot of…
It’s not difficult to see the flaw in this statement; Peter is the ONLY MAN in this equation. I’d feel differently about the above quote if he’d said “certain women” as opposed to “all of these women”—it’s safe to say Peter already knows at this point who he’s picking, or at least who his top 2 women are. Therefore, it’s almost a bit cruel for him to openly seek that kind of certainty from “all” his remaining women, given HE KNOWS FOR SURE he’s sending most of them home. I mentioned over at Flare that real life relationships don’t have guarantees and Peter’s demanding something no half of a couple really has a right to demand (especially when he alone makes up the “half” in 6 separate couples). Had Peter’s assurance-seeking been limited to his favorite woman or two, I’d have no problem with this mission. (I know that doesn’t work with the smoke-and-mirrors aspect to this show, but I digress.) The bottom line: it’s hypocritical to press the ladies as a whole for confidence in him, when he’s the one (ostensibly) breaking the hearts.
At the ladies’ hotel, Madison receives the week’s first 1-on-1 date card. I enjoyed this moment of light, self-referential joking by Hannah Ann…
The above reminded me of Colton’s season, when the women joked about Cassie’s Date Card inevitably referencing a “deep dive” into “love”. Being shown these little clips is always a very welcome “meta” moment for me, a reminder that no one better recognizes the humor in this show’s ridiculous traditions than the ladies do.
Now, note the shot of Hannah Ann above, and how a hand is casually playing with her hair. This was easy to miss because there was no full-group shot of this seating arrangement (perhaps on purpose?), but after doing a little research, I discovered that hand belonged to none other than Kelley…
Now, I was already extremely doubtful of Kelley’s suddenly villainous turn in this episode, even without the above clip. But for real: Do you see Kelley talking shit about a girlfriend in the house when she’s evidently close enough with her to play with her hair? More on that later.
MADISON’S 1-ON-1
Peter takes Madison fishing and during their daytime talk, Peter reemphasizes that fear he has about all this, about being left at the end with his feelings being unrequited. Madison’s answer here stood out to me, as well as Peter’s response…
I like Madison’s simple answer. She’s right, of course: it isn’t only scary for him—it’s equally scary and (given the 1 man-to-6 women ratio), in many ways way MORE scary for any woman harboring actual feelings for him. But note Peter’s irksome response, once again making it about him, about HIS fear. An appropriate response would have been, “Yes, I know it must be really scary for you, too.” It was a moment to empathize and reassure. I know Peter means well (he’s obviously very sweet and well-meaning—I do feel a bit bad going as hard on him as I have been), but in my humble opinion, little throwaway comments like this reveal his entitlement that I’ve been going on about, how he (most likely unconsciously) has himself on a bit of a pedestal. Of course, I’m referencing to him only as the lead of this show, not how he is in real life. (In fact, I highly doubt he’s at all entitled in real life.) It just kind of feels like he feels he’s paid his dues, having been a heartbroken contestant himself, and that earned him the right to prioritize himself and his feelings this go around.
NATASHA’S 1-ON-1
Thank god for Natasha, who was my mind-reader of the episode. At the start of her own 1-on-1, she wastes no time capturing Peter’s hypocrisy in one simple and concise statement…
EXACTLY. This is what I’d like to get a bit more from Peter, the sense that he knows how hard it is for them, that he recognizes his big fear is no less valid than the women’s fear of getting rejected on national television. If anything, you almost get the sense that his default is to SUSPECT his women of having Wrong Reasons intentions (given his history on Hannah’s season and his paranoia about Alayah, this adds up). And with that in mind, it almost (almost!) feels like an act of generosity on his part to keep anyone around for as long as he does. Let me explain: I simply don’t get the feeling from Peter that, when he sends anyone home, he feels genuinely sorry or like he believes he’s broken their heart. A great example is Peter sending Victoria P home last week, how untraumatic it seemed for him—he frankly seemed like he just wanted the conversation to be over, when all interactions prior suggested he was really into her. Later on this date with Natasha, he does his usual elimination routine of heaving a huge sigh before asking, “Can I walk you out?”…
Compare the above to Hannah’s season, where she was beside herself with agony over sending home Mike, whom she’d come to truly appreciate as a friend. At the risk of sounding harsh, I just don’t get that from Peter with his women. For me, a comparison to Mike would be either Natasha or Sydney. Natasha’s been the one who tells it like it is, something he’s valued in her. As for Sydney, he put a lot of stock in what she told him and credited her for “looking out” for him. Yet, when he sent both women home, while he may have had a hard time with it, it just didn’t really didn’t seem that way.
Whoops, that was a tangent. I’m getting ahead of myself! Back to where we were: during Natasha’s daytime talk, the following exchange ensues…
I found this very interesting, that from Natasha’s perspective, a contestant can be completely herself and totally honest about what she’s looking for. I do think there’s some truth to this—that honesty is certainly embraced by producers if you so choose to share it—but I’m not sure you can be any more honest in this environment than you can in real life. Further, whether or not contestants actually take advantage of that freedom is questionable. After all, it’s far, FAR more likely you’ll hear contestants say a lead is exactly what they’re looking for, the “perfect guy”, even if that’s not remotely true or they don’t actually feel that way. After all, brutal honesty doesn’t necessarily translate to sticking around for very long, and—let’s be honest here—if you’ve packed your bags for what could be 8-9 weeks of filming and you’ve very possibly quit your job to be there, are you really not looking to last very long?
I do think Natasha has the unique benefit of being quite naturally funny and charismatic, so it might be easier for her to simply be herself and for that to be rewarded positively (in terms of witty commentary shown) as opposed to it being turned on her (by her becoming a villain). Also, it cannot be overestimated how big a factor her age is in this; 31 is NOT 23, and I do think the older a contestant is, the more likely it is she even knows what it is she specifically wants in a lifelong romantic partner.
The last thing I want to point out is Peter’s response to this statement. I certainly know some Bachelor folks who do see this process as something “beautiful”; there’s almost a reverence for it when it does work out, for the purity of such distraction-less tunnel vision towards the sole pursuit of love. Personally, I don’t agree with this (I take issue with many things: the power imbalance, the fact that many personalities can’t be themselves with cameras on them, the fact that contestants are almost universally at their worst during filming, the fact that very little personal information is revealed in an organic, spontaneous way… I could go on), but it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that Peter is one of those folks who, despite it not working out for him thus far, considers this process “beautiful”. Kelley was right when she called him a hopeless romantic.
In the evening, Natasha drops another truth bomb…
YUP. This once again addresses Peter’s “fear” and pinpoints one of the many reasons why this is just as difficult and scary (albeit in a different way) for any woman with legitimate feels for him. This “suspension” especially occurs when Peter presses the women for confirmation that they are indeed into him, instead of letting that unfold as the women are comfortable and ready. (As most leads in the past have done.) It’s like polling the room for a specific answer but then being like, “OK, don’t call me, I’ll call you.” All they can do is wait.
What bugged me the most about this date (other than the fact that we had to say goodbye to Natasha), was the fact that Peter, despite 100% knowing he would be sending Natasha home that night, still interrogated her TWICE about her level of interest in him…
Peter: With what’s on the horizon, you know, Hometowns coming up. I know we kind of touched on it a little bit at that last afterparty. In Santiago I remember you saying you didn’t feel like we were there. And I totally respect that. And, uh, I’m just curious what you feel now?
Natasha: Um, I feel like we do have a really strong connection. I feel really, really good when I’m with you. I feel really safe when I’m with you. But I think it’s also important for you to see those things in me as well. So if and when I introduce my family to someone, I do want it to be special, you know? And I don’t know if today brought more insight for that for you or if you thought that beforehand… Like, I mean, I don’t know, how do YOU feel about it?
Peter: Um. I feel like with you I can see that potential for what I am looking for. But do you truly see, you know, something, like, really special?
Natasha: I really do. I really, really, really, really, really, really do. The way that our lives line up. The way that you are, the way that I am.
Tell me, given both Peter and his producers knew he’d be sending Natasha home here, was it really necessary to go this far, to get an emphatic confession of feelings for him? To press not once, but twice, to make sure she REALLY liked him, REALLY saw something “special” with him? It’s like it wasn’t enough to just send her home after a fun day together—he was first required to get her to open up about her interest for him, only to THEN send her home. I’m not blaming this on Peter, by the way. This happens every season (except on Hannah’s when she was already crying over what she had to do by the time Mike arrived to “dinner”—God I miss her and her inability to fake things!) I get that it’s a producer push to set up the effect of maximum heartbreak across the board. I just really think we’re past needing to be spoon-fed this sort of narrative.
KELSEY’S 1-ON-1
Peter meets Kelsey in Pachacamac, Peru where they drive ATVs through the countryside. In the evening, the following interaction stood out to me…
Note Kelsey’s defensiveness; she’s (understandably) self conscious about being seen as emotional in Peter’s eyes, all because of Tammy’s choice words about her. Tammy’s words are still haunting Kelsey despite Tammy having been sent packing, and they likely will continue to do so for much of Kelsey’s relationship with Peter, however long it lasts. It’s a small but potent example of why no one should ever talk shit to the lead. The effects can and do last far longer than the shit-talker does, and it negatively affects a romance still in its infancy.
Just when we thought our pageant women were long gone, Kelsey drops this nugget out of nowhere, in the context of her off-and-sometimes-on relationship with her father…
Okay, WHAT. I find it strange that the show has clearly made an effort to NOT reveal that so many of this season’s contestants are pageant women. I normally wouldn’t mind (if anything I would prefer “Professional Clothier” to “Former Miss Iowa”) but remember, on Colton’s season, both Caelynn’s and Hannah B’s occupations were their pageant titles. It just seems strange to go from that to not mentioning it all, only letting it come out in passing conversation—especially continued conversation! You can tell from the wording above that Kelsey must have mentioned this to Peter before, yet we were never shown that.
Because I’m a skeptic, I still believe what I said in Episode 3, which is that I think the show purposely withheld this information to blur the truth on Victoria P’s versus Alayah’s claims about knowing each other. I think Kelsey’s lack of a “Former Miss Iowa” next to her name is a byproduct of this. Thoughts?
GROUP DATE
Now things start taking an interesting turn. Kelley, who’s been completely drama-free all season long and if anything has proven herself to be one of the most mature, reasonable women there, is suddenly painted as an 11th-hour villain. Watch the following, noting how little of this “sentence” we actually witness coming out of Kelley’s mouth…
Now, listen to the same clip…
While this isn’t even as sloppy as some frankenbiting can get, it’s obvious there are AT LEAST 4 sentences spliced together here…
Hannah Ann and Victoria F are / children and / who wants to be on a 3-on-1 / date with them?
Before I dissect this, compare this to last week’s .GIF where Victoria F ripped Mykenna apart…
Note how you can see EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. come out of her mouth. In short, if Kelley had actually uttered the above sentence, you’d better believe we’d have seen it in one uncut, highly incriminating shot.
Kelley had already openly expressed her annoyance at being on the 3-on-1 at all, which I find completely reasonable given Peter pressing her for more “progression” in Episode 5. (I discussed this over at Flare.) She gave production just enough attitude for it to be spun in a different direction: not aimed at Peter (which it was) for not prioritizing her the way he’d wanted to be prioritized, but rather, aimed at the women to feed the tired old narrative that this is a competition. Ugh, yet another Bachelor trope we are SO beyond being spoon-fed.
Let’s be clear: No one sees this as less of a competition than Kelley does, which shouldn’t be mistaken with arrogance (as it too often is). Because she’s a mature woman, she recognizes that the “competition” aspect of this process has NOTHING to do with the romance itself. The two factors are on entirely different planes.
Kelley’s been the logical voice of reason for 6 episodes. Her only misstep was showing her annoyance with Peter surrounding this 3-on-1 date, and on what would be her final episode. That frustration, when strategically edited and with the villain music track in the background, comes off very differently. It goes to show that, as a contestant filming this show, no matter how reasonable you’ve been through so many more difficult or irritating times, you can’t ever let your guard down. Impatience and annoyance—all valid feelings during this process—can and will be used against you.
You guys knew I’d have to make a .GIF of the following…
First, I laughed out loud at Peter’s miserably stern expression throughout this. Like, this is NOT the face of a man having fun. It’s strange how, this season, the bad words aren’t all the curse words uttered by women, but rather the word “fun”, synonymous with Wrong Reasons-dom. I’ve mentioned somewhere over the season (I forget where… sigh…) that it feels like Peter doesn’t think a few steps ahead, and I happen to think that applies here as well. If Peter thought about this one step further, he’d realize that the contestants who aren’t afraid to “just have fun” are FAR more likely to be authentic than the ones who are a bit too quick and/or comfortable to say they’re “falling in love”. The ones who don’t take this completely unrealistic, contrived experience too seriously are the very ones most likely to be mature and self-assured enough—and thus “ready”—for a real-life partnership.
Further, not only is Kelley’s line in the above .GIF simply #truth, it also shows us that, even from WITHIN THE PROCESS, Kelley recognized what Peter was doing wrong. I personally don’t even think the above sentence was meant to be about Kelley’s own relationship with him—it was a moment of education. It felt necessary for Peter to hear the above words, whether or not he’d absorb and process them. He may not have appreciated them at the time, but these were sage words he needed to hear.
It’s time for Victoria F’s conversation with Peter, and by “conversation” I mean a whole lot of words that say absolutely nothing…
The most scintillating conversation that ever there was.
Holy shit, you guys. I CANNOT. I swear I can FEEL my brain cells evaporating watching these two speak to each other. Is this something I can’t understand, being a woman? Do I not understand Victoria F’s apparent appeal? What is there that Peter’s trying to make happen or salvage here?
Look, I get that there may be halfway decent banter once in awhile, and we all know Peter has a friendly boner in him with Victoria F’s name on it. But when it comes to any kind of remotely serious discussion about their relationship (which tragically—and very tryingly—accounts for the majority of what we’re shown), it’s like pulling teeth. How much longer can we watch Victoria F push her hair around with her fingers and say variations on “I don’t know”? This isn’t a rhetorical question. I’ve never been so tempted to read spoilers simply because I want to know how far Victoria F makes it, just so I know what I’m dealing with here. I need to mentally prepare!
As Peter returns from his detective work, we hear another unflattering voiceover of Kelley’s…
Once again, note how not a single word of this is shown coming out of her mouth. If Kelley actually said something so arrogant, trust me, we would have been shown it from beginning to end. Further, take into account that .GIF of Kelley playing with Hannah Ann’s hair earlier, as well as the fact that she and Hannah Ann even share clothes…
It’s obvious Kelley and Hannah Ann are pretty close. It’s simply not believable to me that Kelley, who again has been nothing but reasonable all season, would suddenly be talking shit about someone she’s obviously friends with. This also provides a little explanation as to why Hannah Ann breaks down in tears after receiving the second rose on this date. Not only was there the extreme stress of being on the always-stressful final Group Date of the season, but she was up against her friend for that rose.
I’ll close this recap with a moment where Kelley inadvertently pulls back the curtain…
After observing Kelley on this date and reflecting back to my own Group Dates years ago, I’ve decided I am 100% convinced contestants are PURPOSELY put in cold outdoor seating situations. The only thing that can make waiting around for hours even worse is being physically uncomfortable while you do it. It makes people irritable and grumpy—perfect for causing contestants to lash out at each other or for capturing shots of contestants looking “bitchy” or “stressed out”.
That’s it for Episode 7! As always, my initial takeaways and frontrunner breakdown can be found over at Flare.
THE FASHION
Requests
Peter’s Rodd & Gunn boots sell HERE.
Natasha’s Baublebar ring sells HERE.
Victoria F’s Free People top sells HERE.
Best Dressed
This week’s Best Dressed honorable mention goes to…
Not everyone could pull off this look (I sure as hell couldn’t) but Natasha did so with ease. I love the white-on-white, which feels very modern, balanced with the unique, vintage-vibes cardigan. She looks comfy and like she didn’t try to hard, while (as always) looking incredibly polished and put together. Natasha sadly didn’t get back to me about this look and I didn’t have the time this week to sleuth the way I usually would to ID them on my own. The cardigan is so specific, I didn’t have much luck with alternatives—the best one I could find sells HERE. As for the wedges, the best dupe I could find sells HERE. (If you’re open to black, there’s a better match HERE.)
I have a surprise runner-up for Best Dressed this week…
I feel like I’ve been so focused on Peter’s behavioral choices that I haven’t given his sartorial ones the credit they deserve. Peter’s fashion, for the most part, has been very on point this season. I love his brown boots from the Requests section—rugged yet refined. As for this look, I’m not sure I can explain why I love it so much. I think maybe because it’s very Andy’s style (well, the style I’ve curated for him 😂) and I can’t help but be subconsciously drawn to it for that reason? I love how the sweater’s a mix of different styles—thermal material, a hoodie kangaroo pocket, a quarter zip with a mock neck. We’ve seen all these features but never together like this. The result is casual but unique and fashionable in the most non-trying hard way. I dig the slick black-on-black down below, and even the slight point of these boots. I absolutely love this look. Peter’s Vince sweater sells HERE (I would have already ordered one for Andy if it weren’t for the price!) and his Blondo chukka boots sell HERE (totally eyeing these). In short, if you see Andy wearing this head-to-toe ensemble in a future Instagram post, you know where the idea came from. :)
This week’s Best Dressed is… drumroll…
I love this. It’s very much something I would wear: a whole bunch of black separates with one “fun” (ha!) piece to make a statement. This particular top is pretty ballsy, and Natasha pulls it off like it’s nothing; the fact that she styled it with subdued, timeless pieces speaks to her good taste. Given the openness of this neckline I might have preferred a slick ponytail, but I’m splitting hairs. Natasha’s Zara top is sold out (HERE) but I found a S selling HERE. There’s are good alternatives (and looks-for-less) HERE and HERE, and in my search I found THIS top that I love and am eyeing for myself.
Worst Dressed
There were a couple of looks I didn’t love this week (Hannah Ann has come close to being on this list a few times now—I was not a fan of her 3-on-1 date look) but the one that offended me the most was…
Given Peter’s otherwise strong looks, this one stood out to me in a bad way. I know cargo is making something of a comeback but in my opinion cargo should be done in small doses, not so full-throttle as this. I get that it was for his ATV-riding date with Kelsey so there was likely a sort of “theme” to it, but bearing that in mind, it only makes the ruggedness feel forced and almost costume-y. I actually think this would be fine with either a different jacket (like a simple black bomber) or a different pair of pants (like simple blue jeans). Nobody needs this many pockets!
Until next week, fellow pandas!
