Episode 8
Ugh! I hate getting these out so late! It’s been yet another crazy week (we opened our opera on Thursday and both my parents and Andy are visiting) so I’ve done my best. Thank you as always for your patience and understanding!
HANNAH ANN’S HOMETOWN
The season’s first Hometown date brings Peter to Knoxville, TN. Hannah Ann takes Peter axe-throwing, a nice (if unintentional) throwback to his Group Date in Scotland on Hannah B’s season. Peter whips out a letter he’s written in response to Hannah Ann’s Things I Love About You list. First, as cheesy as I’m sure some people found this, I kind of enjoyed it. (Is that an embarrassing confession?) Both letters showed major specificity (you guys know I love this), and I found myself only wishing we’d seen evidence of #5…
It irks me when events or conversations are referenced but we weren’t ever shown them the first time around. Seriously, why is it the main thing we know about Hannah Ann is that she’s not a “champagne stealer”—not the (adorable) fact that SHE NAMES HER DRESSES?? Grrrrr….
In the evening, Peter meets Hannah Ann’s family and in his sit-down with her mom, Jennifer, he reveals the following…
Honestly, I don’t think it was Peter’s place to tell Jennifer this. I know she asked how far along their relationship was, but Hannah Ann was also in that very house and would naturally end up having a conversation with HER OWN MOTHER. If and when Hannah Ann wanted to share this herself, she’d have been fully able to do so. Further, this takes away from the impact of Hannah Ann telling her mother something relatively momentous. I know I’m nit-picking and Peter is surely not the first lead to do this, but it still struck me as being a bit inappropriate.
The big focus of Hannah Ann’s Hometown is that her father, Rick, is concerned about this whole dating-multiple-women thing. Thankfully, Peter didn’t go around asking for fatherly blessings à la Colton, but it was hilarious how such a big deal was made out of Rick being some curmudgeonly nut in need of cracking, yet his actual demands were more than reasonable…
What kind of a monster is this Rick guy?!
YES. This simple sentence sums up how EVERY parent should feel. I always pick favorites with contestants’ parents every season and Rick is definitely my pick this go-around.
During his sit-down with Rick, Peter reveals that he plans on telling Hannah Ann he’s falling in love with her. I loved Rick’s reaction to this, how he straight-up and in no uncertain terms shot this down…
First, I personally think Peter told Rick his plans because he thought it would help win Rick over. However, his mistake was his delivery. He said he wanted to tell Hannah Ann he was falling for her because didn’t “want her to have any doubt about that.” Um, that’s not a real reason—you either tell someone some variation on the L-word because it’s how you feel or you don’t mention it at all. You don’t say it to make them feel better about where they stand or to make them more confident in your relationship. I couldn’t agree more with Rick; who CARES if Hannah Ann has doubts about Peter’s feelings? If those feelings aren’t 100% legit, DON’T SHARE THEM WITH HER. It’ll hurt WAY less in the end if he doesn’t end up choosing her.
To me, this conversation ties in to how it seems Peter himself relies on constant verbal validation. He can’t feel a woman loves him unless she verbally tells him (preferably in tears while she does it)—it’s not enough to show him, he needs to hear it, too. Hence why he’d feel the need to tell a woman (or multiple women) he’s “falling” for them, even if it’s only going to make things harder in the long run. The man is definitely a Words of Affirmation person.
Peter tells Rick he’ll take his words to heart, yet promptly tells Hannah Ann he’s falling in love with her. Once again, we’re catching glimpses of how Peter doesn’t plan things a few steps ahead. It’s one thing to tell a woman you feel strongly about her, but it’s another thing to involve the L-word, and entirely another thing when her father literally JUST told you not to do so unless you’re 100% going to pick her. All I can say is, based on this move, Peter had better pick Hannah Ann.
As Hannah Ann bids Peter adieu, Peter says something in a voiceover/ITM that bugged me…
Okay, first of all, if you love someone and they say they love you, the feeling you should get is elation at having your affections reciprocated and an overwhelming sense of love/adoration/affection for that person. An appropriate takeaway is NOT: “it’s a great feeling to know someone feels that way about you.” This stuck out to me immediately and honestly the more I watch it and write about it, the more annoying I find it. He’s making it all about HIM: how she makes HIM feel, what her words do for HIM, how validating it is for HIM to be wanted. Ugh, no! This should be about HER and how he feels about HER. And of course, this ties in to what I’ve been harping on for weeks now, which is that Peter just seems too insecure for this process (at least, at this point in his life). I know his letter to Hannah Ann was sweet and plenty specific, but in the context of feeling loved by her, we didn’t get nearly enough specificity. We got nothing from Peter that would suggest these words felt any different coming from Hannah Ann’s mouth versus another woman’s. Is it possible he did wax poetic about how special she is and how feeling loved by her specifically is the bee’s knees? Possibly, but given how that kind of commentary would tighten up the race between Hannah Ann and Madison, it’s doubtful it would have been left on the editing room floor.
KELSEY’S HOMETOWN
I’m afraid I’m not harping on Peter. Not quite yet. (I swear I have some positive things to say a bit later!) In Des Moines, IA, after Kelsey takes Peter grape-stomping at a winery, she begins to tell Peter that she, too, loves him. But watch what Peter asks partway…
Look, I get that he said this with a grin and it’s clear this is meant to be flirtatious compliment fishing, and I swear, if Peter hadn’t already shown us a pattern of neediness for validation, this wouldn’t have stood out to me. But something about watching this mere minutes after hearing his “it’s a great feeling to know someone feels that way about you” after Hannah Ann’s L-word profession… I was seriously turned off by this. ESPECIALLY considering he ends up sending Kelsey her home this week and definitely knew he wasn’t picking her. It just feels so self-indulgent. He’s not just letting her speak her mind in her way and on her time—he’s just going out of his way to have his ego stroked. Above all, note how it’s yet again about HIM. I do like Peter and think he’s kind-hearted, but there’s definitely more self-absorption here than I think any of us noticed previously. (Or at least that I didn’t notice previously!) I personally do think it’s a function of him as the lead (as I’ve mentioned before across several recaps) and likely not how he is in real life. But we still have to gauge a lead by how they behave AS THE LEAD and this sure as hell isn’t my favorite thing about him.
As the two make out in the vineyard, we get a reminder from Kelsey how awkward things can be with a producer and camera crew a few feet away…
I personally think the above was aired to have “a bunch of people” reference other women Peter’s dating, but given how the camera is far away and zoomed in on them, I believe Kelsey was referencing production.
Finally, we get yet another example of a previous event or conversation referenced despite never having been shown that event or conversation. Imagine how adorable the following scene might have been had we actually seen these two first discussing Kelsey’s passion for crab rangoon…
It’s a major pet peeve of mine when the show does this, giving us the punchlines to jokes we were never told. Obviously because crab rangoon has nothing to do with their romantic “connection” and didn’t involve in-house drama, we weren’t ever shown what was probably a cute moment where Kelsey explained what crab rangoon is and how much she likes it. It’s little interactions like that that allow us to get to know contestants and warm to them, not only their admissions of “feelings” for the lead. Frankly, those “feelings” are all bleeding together at this point because they’re so repetitive and similar, and we’re missing the endearing crab rangoon moments along the way that differentiate one relationship from another. (Have I mentioned this season sucks?)
MADISON’S HOMETOWN
Peter greets Madison in Auburn, AL, where Madison appears to go out of her way to NOT jump-straddle Peter…
Foreshadowing!
What’s funny is I legitimately can’t remember the last time a woman didn’t straddle the Bachelor when meeting him on her Hometown.
I found this date pretty darn cute, especially when the two were playing basketball…
In all seriousness, how amazing was Madison at basketball?! I thought this was so cute, how she clearly smoked him yet how he still held his own. It was just a sweet, feel-good scene in a season that has had very few of those.
In the evening, it’s all business. I have a lot of thoughts on how Madison’s virginity is suddenly playing this huge role in her storyline. First, it’s interesting how there hasn’t been a single mention of this from her for 7 weeks of filming, despite Madison knowing full well Fantasy Suites would eventually be coming AND given Peter is famous for having had sex with Hannah B in a windmill (not once but FOUR times). Personally, I think this is probably a pretty private thing for her and that she wasn’t planning on bringing it up at all. However, I think producers, having had the opportunity (and advantage) to talk to Madison’s parents before she would have the chance to, very likely filled them with concern specifically about this. Note how all mentions of Madison’s virginity have been shown in the previews for later episodes, yet the following question from her mother, Tonya, is the very first time we hear it ever mentioned in real time…
You can even tell by how Tonya stumbles through the sentence that she’s aware of the cameras and the fact that this is being filmed. She’s trying to find the right way to word her question. But it sticks out to me that she’s even asking this; it just strikes me as odd that a mother would ask if her daughter had told the guy her daughter’s dating that she doesn’t plan on having sex with him. Like, if you think about this outside of the context of the family’s religious views, it’s kind of none of her mom’s business, is it not? (Is MY family the weird one??) Especially since it’s a decision Madison’s made for herself, what’s the concern? Madison is a grown woman and can privately continue to make that decision for herself. Plenty of people go to the Fantasy Suites and don’t have sex—it’s their prerogative what they do in there and for whatever it is they do to be private. That’s why I strongly suspect producers either filled Madison’s parents with concern over what might be “expected” of Madison, or they filled her parents with concern over what America might assume of Madison if it wasn’t addressed. (OR this wasn’t a decision Madison was completely uninfluenced in making for herself and her parents are perhaps a tad too involved in how Madison employs her religious views in her day-to-day life. I’ll put it this way: Given her family’s beliefs and how strongly they’re emphasized, do you get the impression it would be kosher to NOT save one’s self for marriage?) Because I would prefer to believe the producer-driven options, I’m going with those.
Another moment stood out to me, this one during Peter’s chat with Madison’s dad, Chad…
First, how INSANELY YOUNG does Chad look? He legitimately barely looks 40! As for the conversation, it’s very possible the “other experiences” Chad mentions are just elaborate dates, but given how he says “as a father that’s tough”, I can’t help but think he too is referring the Fantasy Suite situation. But what stood out to me is Peter’s response. I LOVED his answer of… well, not being able to give an answer. Depending on how you look at this, it was a very subtle pull-back of the curtain. Peter didn’t say he doesn’t know, but that he can’t give an answer right now—he has rules by which he’s required to abide. But even if “I can’t give an answer right now” did mean “I don’t know yet”, it’s still brutally honest—even if it’s not what Chad would want to hear. I’m the kind of person who prefers it when someone says, “I don’t know”, over someone who just says what they think you want to hear. Point: Peter. My faith in him isn’t completely lost.
VICTORIA F’S HOMETOWN
Hoo boy. Do I have it in me to take on this date?
In Virginia Beach, VA, Victoria F takes Peter for a stroll on the beach. They take old-timey photos and eat ice cream, and over oysters, Victoria F tells Peter how nice it is to finally be able to focus on him and their relationship. She then promptly takes him to a live concert…
I found this hysterical, how Victoria F claimed to want to focus on them (presumably something she’s able to do now that she’s home), yet she took Peter on the most Bachelor-ific date activity ever. Nothing says “let’s just focus on this relationship” like dancing in a sea of people taking photos and videos of you.
I confess I’d never heard of Hunter Hayes but it’s safe to say his lyrics helped him land this gig…
I have a peeve for a) when people, especially women, lean into being considered “crazy”, as though it’s some cute affect, and b) when people, especially men who purport to be ready for marriage, go for “crazy”. I know the above was meant jokingly and I swear I do have a sense of humor (I SWEAR I DO!), but I’m just so, so over these two.
After the concert, Peter is approached by a faceless ex who warns him that Victoria F is a horrible person and something of a home wrecker. (SAY WHAT.) Come evening, Peter sits Victoria F down on her parents’ stoop to ask her about it, and it rapidly becomes clear why a solid 40-45% of this episode is dedicated to this godforsaken Hometown.
It goes without saying Victoria F handles this terribly. (I think we’d all be shocked at this point if she hadn’t handled this terribly.) I think what gets me about Victoria F isn’t even so much her defensive nature or how she can’t accept fault (these aren’t great traits but they’re not uncommon, unfortunately), but rather her incredible hypocrisy. She talked shit about Mykenna in Episode 5 for the exact behavior she herself had already exhibited. This week, she vehemently disagreed with Peter’s claim that she “walks away” when things get tough, yet literally walked away from that very conversation…
If Victoria F possessed even the faintest bit of self awareness, she’d realize the irony in her words versus her actions and at least have tried not to walk away, if only to not prove Peter right. But what I think is so frustrating about this exchange is you can SEE her not taking in Peter’s words. It’s one thing to listen to criticism and genuinely disagree, but Victoria F has a habit of hearing criticism and not actually listening to it. She just hears something being pointed in her direction she doesn’t like, sees red, and disagrees immediately and automatically, regardless of what the criticism even is or how gently or reasonably it’s being expressed. As I said over at Flare, this is one of the most basic displays of immaturity, the inability to accept that you’re in the wrong and to even attempt to reflect or (god forbid) change. I swear my 10 year old niece is more self aware and introspective than this.
I’ve got to give Peter credit in the above clip; he held his ground and FINALLY didn’t let Victoria F off the hook when she got defensive. Frankly, this was the most attractive he’s been all season so far; clear-headed, articulate, patient yet firm. He was the only adult in the conversation. Unlike how he handled drama among the women earlier in the season, I felt he was well within his right to immediately confront Victoria F about his ex’s claims. As much as it might have been fabricated that his ex just so happened to appear on that Group Date, this ex is still a person from his past—her accusations carry more weight based on this fact alone. She had nothing to gain from this except to appear on TV, and considering she opted to have her face blurred, it’s safe to say that wasn’t even something she cared about. I thought Peter was right to be concerned about real life claims from a real life ex, and as I said over at Flare, the fact that Victoria F never even answered his original question IS the very answer he sought.
Finally, we see Victoria F win a hug from Peter by switching from anger over to her now predictable damsel in distress act…
I honestly don’t even think Victoria F does this on purpose. I don’t think she realizes she has a down-pat routine of retaliating in knee-jerk fashion and then returning later, sobbing and showing remorse. But either she does this unknowingly and has a remarkable lack of self awareness, or she does it on purpose and is incredibly calculated. Neither one is a great look, and if it’s the former, this is a habit she would be well served to work on. It’s very Luke P-esque, to have to go through these ups and downs only to end up right back where she started.
THE NEXT DAY
The next day, Victoria F (tragically) reappears to explain herself, and by “explain” I mean state the following without recognizing an ounce of irony in it…
If I weren’t so desperate to have Victoria F removed from my screen I might have been amused by this. Kudos to Peter for responding by calling it like it is. That kudos would later be negated when he chose to keep her around for yet another week.
That’s it for Episode 8! As always, my initial takeaways and frontrunner breakdown can be found over at Flare.
THE FASHION
Requests
Peter’s Cole Haan jacket sells HERE.
I couldn’t find Madison’s exact necklace but you can easily customize your own HERE.
Hannah Ann’s Sherri Hill dress sells HERE.
Madison’s Rachel Allen jumpsuit is sold out (HERE).
Kelseys’s Misa dress sells (on sale!) HERE.
Best Dressed
This week’s runner-up for Best Dressed is Victoria F with her Hometown date look…
I don’t always love Victoria F’s casual wear but this was a real win in my books. For an easy, breezy day walking her dog, she looks comfortable, cute, and utterly effortless. I love this unique but practical jacket and it would seem you feel the same way as it was by far the most requested item of the week. I might have preferred a ponytail but we know by now Victoria F seems to always wears her hair down. Victoria F’s Zara jacket is sadly sold out (HERE) but I found super similar options selling HERE and HERE. Her Superga sneakers sell (on sale!) HERE.
This week’s Best Dressed is… drumroll…
I really love the vintage vibes of this dress. The color is simultaneously modern and classic, and the details (the sleeves, the buttons, the flowy A-line) really elevate this look. She looks sophisticated, feminine, and elegant. (I can apparently separate sartorial choices from behavioral ones.) It was a crime to not have worn her hair in a tousled chignon or something similar, but like I said, this woman’s hair is always down. :( Victoria F’s Reformation dress is sadly sold out (HERE) but there’s a near identical one by the same brand HERE. Since that’s on the pricey side, if you’re open to a mini, there’s a great look-for-less HERE. Her Schutz heels sell HERE.
Worst Dressed
No Worst Dressed this week!
Until next week, fellow pandas!
